My reason for living

2011-08-05T21:16:00.000-07:00

When will it be over? The question for the year! So my lawyer got a counter complaint for custody from Brendan's lawyer....so how dare Brendan call me at work begging for mercy to revoke cs order 2 weeks ago and then have some spontaneous luck with money for a lawyer. He is suing for 50/50 custody and wants me to keep 100% of the costs stating I make more than him. Little does he know the State of Idaho ia already aware that I am only working 16 hrs a week so his idea of me paying him child supprt is so far fetched. All he wants to do is get out of financial responsibility. He's never paid a dime for healthcare, daycare, or any extracurricular activities in 3 years. He thinks that his fiance who has served time in jail, been on probabtion is going to be the one raising my children...he's out for the fight of my life! the kids don't ever ask to be with him....mackenzie wishes shoe could only see him once in a while. he's lived a life full of pronography, infidelity, lies. I would give anything to have him out of our lives forever....so here's my ranting! and who's here to help me with my fight...well he's got his family and his fiance and her family to support him in his life. How do you supoort someone in sin? I guess just as i am judging I will also be judged....since that seems to be the tale he keeps telling me they all feel about me anyways. why did I ever put him first and stay here in idaho so that he and his family can have a relationship with our children....what about their maternal family? oh well sometimes justice never comes til death!!!!!

2011-07-31T18:17:00.000-07:00

it's been a while since i've posted. I have been sick for 3 weeks w strep and ear infections plus dental work on top of it all. I am just worn out! I have made some major decisions that will be best for my little family. I am short selling my house, going back to school to get my RN and then on for my Nurse Practioner's. I will only be working fri/sat nights and for the first time in 3 years I will be at home mostly w my children. The lord may close doors but He will open many windows of opportunity. I thought that when the door closed with Corey my heart was literally going to break. At times I even felt like I just couldn't catch my breath when I thought about him and especially seeing him at church. I was angry with him and brendan for not fulfilling their promises and felt like theywere the cause of my being stuck in a mortgage. What I din't realize was the Lord was humbling me. I finally don't blame either one I have negative emotional issues fwith living in my home that can only be resolved by moving and separating myself from the past dreams. My anger for the hurt Corey cause has resolved and I have almost forgiven him 100%. There ae still those random moments like when I see him w his girlfriend at church and wonder why i wasn't good enough for him...after all she has been excommunicated and has word of wisdom issues! well once again Heavenly Father thumped me on the head and said...the atonement is for everyone and Corey just wasn't right for you and you KNOW that after all the hurt and mistreatment of you and your kids. It still hurts at times regardless. Then with the issues with brendan finally a lawyer who is helping me win the fight of my life for my kids. It's amazing to finally be able to say to brendan when he complains..."it's not my problem!" I know I am doingwhat the Lord wants me to be doing and tyeaching my children some very tender truths about life in the process. I know that families are eternal even with my broken family I still have my kids sealed to me! So even though the nights are lonely and life just down right sucks at times...I know I am loved by my Savior and that the decisions I have made are right. I may never find another eternal companion in this life and that's ok...not my ideal situation, but I am ok with who I am. So here;s to the uncertain future with faith. To corey Christensen if you ever read my blog...I forgive you but I don't know how to forget you! The song austin keeps playing and hits to close to my feelings. I do know you were no good for me emotionally especially after my surgery. I know that I am a faithful member of the church who is temple worthy and will be blessed because I have truly repented and put my trust in God. To brendan, you have hurt me for so many years and for that I take responsibility. After taking a hard look at myself I realized I allowed you to be emotionally abusive for 10 years because of my type of personality. I own that, but no more. Your problems are not mine to own! it's liberating to say It's not my problem and I WILL NOT own yours any more. You have it in you to ba an amzing father and I pray you will rediscover your priorities and even more important realize your children want to be loved by you. You cannot forsake your obligations to them. To my family and dear friends near and far...THANK YOU THANK YOU for not leaving alone in my own quiet gethsemane. you may not ever know what the simple smile meant to one who felt alone in a world of turmoil/ or that phone call saying I was just thinking of you today. I have been greatly blessed by you all. now to my family flesh and blood...I love you all very much and know that God sent me to a family as diverse as we are for a reason...to truly know I am LOVED! so this is me and who I am becoming...A mom who will fight for her children and will come out of any trial as a better person for having went through teh struggle with Christ by my side. I no longer need to feel worthless or inadequate and not worth loving...I will prevail in righteousness.
i am somebody I am loved I am jess

2011-05-08T17:21:00.000-07:00

Mother's day: Today this elderly man gave a talk on well of course mothers. He sang a song he made up when he was 16.
M- mom is what we call her
o- ordinary oh no anything but ordinary extraordinary
t- truth she always teaches me the truth
h- hero that's who she is my hero
e- eternal i love my eternal mom
r- righteous she stands among some of the most righteous women in the world.
this is what a mother is to me.
now what do I think a mom is: a mom sacrifices her body in the name of children. To bare a child takes it's toll but oh how we moms wish we had more time to take care of ourselves. mother's are the last to eat at a meal the first to clean up and the last to go to bed at night. making sure all is right in the home. a mom dries the tears of a hungry baby, then a hurt knee, later a broken heart, and in the end the sobs of the dear child by her dying bedside. A mom will love unconditionally and never ask for anything in return. a mom never gets holidays off, sick leave, or stock pile on vacation time. Even with all the sacrifices a mom makes I would NEVER trade this word in for anything else. I love my mom with all my heart but even more I love being called mommy!

2011-05-06T20:34:00.000-07:00

Friday.....This day has become one of dread. It's a day of the week set aside in the mormon culture as date night. For me it is a reminder of how lonely my nights have once again become. I did enjoy the date night for almost a year in a half with Corey. Sometimes I wonder if I ever knew what Love really felt like. Was it love with Corey or just a person to feel a void in my life? Were we really ever friends or just a couple afarid of dying alone? What does real love feel like? I thought at one time I knew with both Brendan and Corey now I wonder if ever it was real? will I ever experience that feeling of feeling safe and protected both physically and emotionally? Will there ever be someone who could love my children and not think of them as a nuisance? Someone who wants to grow old with me and build dreams that can last forever....not just promise me one day a week and a few minutes a day! How can people profess to love someone and so easily walk away and never look back not even a glance and say God told me to leave! I often think who would notice if I weren't here? does my life mean something more than just to my children? is there someone out there who cares when I have had a horrible week emotionally or will it always just be the quiet tears shed alone in the dark with no one there to care why??? If I died tonight will I have left this world a better place because I lived in it? I am so blessed to have my children with me and the gospel in my life. I feel comfort at times when I just feel like giving up the most. Will I be refined enough after the trials to be welcomed home with open arms or will I turn away because I feel unworthy? Peace will come bit by bit line upon line and precept upon precept. So tonight my prayer is for peace and endurance to just put one step in front of the other and carry on to the next day.......These are the thoughts I have when Friday comes!

2011-05-05T14:32:00.000-07:00

so this week has been good so far. I should know hopefully tomorrow about the hospice job. Found out today that Chris is going to be the new medical director...said he told them he wants me as his nurse. So knowing doctors do have some advantages other than waiving fees! trinity has been so different for a while and it looks like our building is about to hot rock bottom soon. Wanna get out while the gettin is good. the hospice job would be m-f 8-5 with salary. 40-50% of the work is done at home on your company laptop and blackberry. so wish me luck. it will be better for my kids too. I have faith that God will work things out according to my obedience....

2011-05-02T19:15:00.000-07:00

rain or snow waht happened to the sun? that's what you get in Idaho i've decided. If you don't like the weather wait a few hours and it will change!!! so we planned to plant flowers for FHE tonight....well we still did just in our coats and gloves because it went from 71 degrees to 50 with rain and wind in about 30 minutes! I guess the Idaho weather is a little about my emotions lately. I can feel total peace and calmness one minute then I will think about Corey and then there comes a feeling almost anxious it;s actually physical....my heart just feels like it's dropping. Then I'm angry and sad, but always always before I go to bed I read and pray and peace envelops me and I drift calmly to sleep. I still have unanswered questions and thoughts about myself. But keeping positive and praying VERY hard when the negative emotions come help!!! today I watched a dear patient of mine and his wife. He is actively dying and seeing her love for him made my heart leap with joy at the same time weap for mine. Love endures all. What matters most in this life is how one is brought into this life and how one leaves this life. Peace will come to my dear thorn in the butt resident who was SOOO afraid of dying but last week he and I talked about how I KNOW life doesn't end at death. What an experience I had that strengthened my resolve to be a better person. Thx DON!!!!

2011-05-01T12:50:00.000-07:00

So I decided the write about closure and ending a chapter in your life and beginning a new one. Friday Night Brendan and I decided we REALLY needed to just sit down and talk about the direction we are heading. It started out with him refusing to let me take kids to indiana and then of course I said he couldn't take kids to Utah. When did we both become so selfish and make it about us adults instead of what's best for the kids. So this is what I learned during our 4 hr long talk at McDonald's(i know of all places). I never considered looking at myself through his eye. In his mind I allowed the Mormon culture to ruin our marriage. I saw his point to a degree. I should have went to work 4 years ago when I was more marketable than he was. I began with no communication and ended in some realizations on my part. His view of me now is I have the brand new house and brand new van while he's living in a trashy trailer and driving a POS truck. My view of his situation is I got a new van to lower my monthly car payment by $120.00 a month. I got a brand new house that I am buying for teh same price I was renting. I am the one who works 50 hours a week, pay medical bill and insurance, daycare expenses, school clothes, lunches, field trips, extracurricular activities, I am the one who gets to kiss the dissappointment away when daddy doesn't come to the first christmas program or misses and orchestra concert. I am the one who stays up all night with the sick kid. he got to sit on his butt for 2 years living of a college fund taht was similay to my wages and then still didn't pay child support. So our perception of the other's life had formed our realities. Now I understand a little bit more about him. we have both changed the last 3 years greatly. What I reaLIZED Is I don't know him anymore. And he doesn't know me. I also learned a hard truth about myself....I haven't let go of the past and the hurt he caused me. I needed him to FINALLY acknowledge the pain and hurt. When he realized he had never asked for my forgiveness he knew why I hadn't let go of the past. I accepted his genuine apology and a burden was lifted. I also found out how prideful I had been all these years. I thought I was the better parent because I hadn't done the same sins as him.....what I rediscovered is taht I am NO better than him. Just as Brendan can't fully repent and return home with the atonement neither can I. we both rely upon the Lord's mercy to save us. SO i am owning up my faults and imperfections. I just want to work best for the kids. So despite all the advice I have been given...I am redoing the parenting plan that wroks for us BOTH. I am not forgiving any child support and he understands that, but I couldn't keep going on theway it has been for months with hostile exchanges and hurtful words. I just pray I can learn to forgive and truly do what is best for my children.

2011-04-30T20:36:00.000-07:00

something I learned this week. Faith is knowing that God is happy with the direction your life is heading!!!! I will write more tomorrow about my journey in self-discovery....

2011-04-28T19:04:00.000-07:00

anger...how do you get over hurt and anger when you are faced with the person on a regular basis. I met with the bishop again tonight. I asked him "how do I look at Corey every sunday and not scream inside and want to yeel out loud so that anyone or just someone could see and feel my pain caused by him?" someone tell me how do you get over the feelings of rejection and the thoughts that you are no good for anyone? because sometimes I feel like that if I was better looking or wouldn't have gained weight after my surgery then just maybe I might have been worth keeping. If maybe I turned the cheek a little more then maybe my marriage wouldn't have fallen apart....if only's and what might have been's sometimes overcome my thoughts during the day. why did both corey and brendan profess their love when they really didn't have any true feelings for me. My bishop is an amazing man. After mtg with him twice this week he was blunt tonight.....said he had some righteous anger and almost hostility towards the men who have hurt me deeply. He was glad that i came in not scared to share or confess ALL my weaknesses and faults. I am thankful for the Atonement even more at this difficult time in my life emotionally.....

2011-04-27T15:45:00.000-07:00

So I decided to write some of my divine signatures that I've realized in the past few weeks. 1. I am blessed with 3 beautiful children wh try so hard to do what is right. they love each other, have their moments, but theyare truly friends. I am blessed with a job thta i mostly love with great co workers. I have a home that I love(depsite the reason why I bought it. There are memories of Corey taht can be erased with time but more can be made with my little family). I have an awesome ward family with a bishop who truly loves the members. I have even more amazing blood family who are tghere through the thick and thin no matter what kind of boneheaded mistakes I make. I have wonderful friends who are there to offer a smile or words of encouragement. I have the scriptures where I can find peace and comfort. I can pray and what an amazing things happen when I turn life over to God. so these are a few of my divine signatures that are written by Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ. The last 6 mos have been very difficult emotionally. Never one to be depressed I found myself in a well looking up for recue. I am on medication low dose but I never realized how much my thyroid controlled several parts of who I am . Thanks for believing in me. It's nice to truly feel peace.

2011-04-26T15:16:00.000-07:00

So after talking to a dear friend of mine, I realized that the emotions I am feeling are normal part of the grieving process. I never had a complete break of my formal family until recently. It's like the loss and pain are new in a different way. Until a few weeks ago I still had the support of an amazing family and ow well I realize I am not the flesh and blood and I had a fantasy vision of always being loved and accepted by them. After all it was their son who had offended not me! well as I have been going to the temple and continuing in prayer and so forth I realized that He woukld never feel loved and accepted by his family with me around. The hurt is overwhelming at times. I stayed in Idaho so that my kids could see their father and under the impression I would have outside support. I know the Lord is aware of me. I am receiving support as much as they can from my dear family 2k miles away and my brother and sister in law here. But I have even got the support of someone who truly undertsands from experience, Jen my dear friend. I also have met a few people in my ward who have similar expereince that have been brought into my life. I love all my friends and family far and near who are praying for me aND offering words of compfort. I also came to understand even more there are severeal steps of grief. I am not crazy or unstable because I get angry at people who hurt me or my children. It's ok and normal for me to get angry when I see my ex or think about the circumstances i am in. It's ok to have negative feelings about Corey and how he too hurt me in ways that ran deep to the core. I can have these feeling and it's normal as long as I don't get stuck. I am ok and no I don't need professional help, I believe with all my heart taht I would have expereinced these feelings 3 yrs ago if things went as they should have instead of still being connected to the cox family. I love my children and am grateful for my family both blood and ward, and I know that it's ok to experience feelings. the Lord gave us feelings so we could expereince life both the good and bad.

2011-04-25T09:37:00.000-07:00

today is a new day. a new beginning of sorts. I hurt so badly when my children are hurting. last night mackenzie cried with me over some choices her father has made. She said daddy buys things for tracey so he won't lose her, but he still hasn't bought me my bike for my birthday. He promised me mommy. Then to find out that he flew his girlfriend down to vegas in october for a vacation with him, but couldn't afford child support for months or buy his daughter a birthday present!he is so focused on his fiance that he is hurting his children terribly. I pray for my kids everyday. I have even been asked to step away as a cox to allow her to be loved by them! I am only in Idaho so my kids can see their dad...oh how i wish I would've moved away 3 years ago for a fresh start anywhere. Now I feel so alone....I know this statement might hurt, but things would have been better if my husband died over a divorce! His parents said to me once how they are so happy that Min can stay home with her kids. It would've been hard for her children if she would have had to go to work, Well There are 3 other grandchildren that have suffered greatly that they don't seem to recognize. They cry at times because they miss their mommy. I have to work over time most weeks just because their dad doesn't pay his child support. A friend of mine in my ward has been through both a death of her husband and a divorce.....she stated that divorce is much harder! when her husband passed away she knew she and her children were loved. The divorce was bitter to be openly rejected and unloved is a harder pill to swallow, I will continue to have Hope which will lead to greater Faith and eventuallu I will know I am truly loved by someone out there!!

2011-04-24T12:32:00.000-07:00

Wow whatever happened to my updating my blog? oops:) so I am going to just leave a short message about HOPE.(i'll try to get a general update the next few weeks). So why do I celebrate Easter? Is it about plastic eggs, Easter baskets, and the Easter bunny? As I have pondered the last few years throughout the many trials and challenges that have come my way, I have come to have a few new insights. Yes it is about our Savior Jesus Christ and His resurrection. Because He arose from the tomb I will see my loved ones again and be with my family forever. THis year I have come to believe it's also about HOPE. Hope leads to faith which leads to knowledge of thruths. I need Hope that today has more to offer and the future holds great blessings. I cannot change the past, I can learn from the expereinces. I have faith that my Heavenly Father and Savior are aware of me and the struggles I face. Because the Savior set the perfect example I can one day forgive others completely. Until that day I will keep praying for the strength to forgive piece by piece.

2010-11-14T19:07:00.000-08:00

So where oh where do I begin? I decided to start from the present and go back from here. Oct. 22-24 I had the experience to run the ragnar relay in Las Vegas. A year ago my dear brother-in-law Jeremy Kunz was hit by a drunk driver and killed while running this relay. Many family members have joined the running and especially the ragnar family. As we ran for 32 hrs with little sleep and lots of emotional and physical exertion we finished 41st out of 359 teams. I was runner 2 with 3 legs to run measuring 19 miles I was dedfinitely challenged. Bloody toes, blisters, and complete exhaustion was felt. Our van 1 took a moment to stop near the scene of the accident to pay tribute to a lost brother. The friendships and relationships were strengthened during the close proximities and stinch in a vehicle for just over 32 hrs. The 1st run for me was 9 miles. I thought hey I just ran a PR in my pocatello half-marathon this should be a piece of cake. Well the run that was suppose to have little elevation climb turned out to be 9 miles UP HILL! By the end of our 3rd legs we decided that the course map was drawn upside down and if we turned the map over that would represent the true course uphill! It was so much fun and I am excited to do 3 ragnar relays next year instead of only 2 we did this year. I will post pictures soon:)
Then on Oct 26th I had a major surgery. I had a total thyroidectomy and partial parathyroedectomy. I was blessed with some great in-laws(ok former but I still love them) to leave their home in se idaho and spend almost 2 weeks here watching my children so I could play in vegas and recooperate from surgery. Poor Brendan slept sitting up in a chair all night long just so I wasn't alone in the hospital. Kim(g-pa) stayed at my house keeping the troops in-line and doing a daddy-do list for me:)! I came home on the 27th and ended back in the hospital 2 days later(the day kim and brenda went home) with some post-op complications. After 2 more days in St. Al's I was released home on the 31st....Halloween. I missed seeing the kids an enjoying the festivities . I am grateful for dear family and a kind neighbor and the one in a million boyfriend! Steph my sister in-law was responsible for a lot of my home care and stayed at the hospital for 10 hrs the day I was readmitted. Corey, well was a great trooper. Took me in at 0600 for my surgery stayed all day to make sure I came out alive:). I don't remember a lot of things that happened that day due to the meds I was on. All I know Is I felt like I was wrapped in the arms a loved ones. I am soo blessed to have the cox family in my life and treating me still like their own daughter. My children have been blessed with great grandparents and aunts and unlces who love them dearly. So here is to life and the struggles that come our way. I know my Heavenly Father is aware of me and my struggles. I feel His Love in my life everyday.
I will post pictures of race and surgery this week:)

2010-11-12T16:39:00.001-08:00

So it has been more than a year since I have blogged anything about my little family of 4! Today I want to restart the story of my reason for living. I love my 3 children and am missing them tonight as they are with their dad. A lot of things have transpired this past year. A full update to come this weekend. For tonight you all get my recommittment to tell a famoly story for others to read. A story about love, sorrows, happiness, losses, and blessings.

2009-11-29T17:55:00.000-08:00

so I am recommitting to running again...about a month of solid running again. Training for a relay the Wasatch back in Utah and the full marathon in pocatello next September. Kind of slacked off after my half in September was burnt out so i only ran 3 days a week just to do some. I am finally getting over the love/hate relationship with running where most days I enjoy it. Life continues to be busy working full-time and kids, but love being home every night with them. I do not however enjoy waking up at the butt-crack of dawn oh wait a minute its 0 dark 30 when I wake up! kids are doing great especially since daddy has been watching them the last month. been good for the boys.

today after all the thanksgiving activities of the weekend I started thinking about life the ups and downs that comes. Being a single mom is very difficult on those rough days when exhaustion is at its peak and I want to cry from complete and utter fatigue, the Lord seems to give me that little extra help to get through the homework, dishes, baths and scriptures/prayers in time for bed for us all without an emotional breakdown. Sometimes we wonder why the challenges are not going away....my last few days I have learned that the miracle of it all is that the Lord is helping us make it alone with him! I did not request this challenge nor did I ever think it would last this long, but I do know that with the help of my Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ I am OK being a single mom. As long as my kids know that I know the gospel is true and can teach them to have righteous desires than the rest will be worked out if not in this life than in the eternities. What I do know is that the Lord is aware of each of us and our struggles and he will come maybe not until the 11Th hour of our trial but He will come when we can no longer do it alone.

i am so thankful for my blessings some of which are difficult trials. I love my children and my family. for those who keep wondering about Corey and I still dating no wedding plans in the near future. I want to be treated like gold and until I feel like I am loved and cherished I need to wait for time to tell. I am thankful for my family and all of their love and support. in case I don't get a chance to blog soon....Happy holidays and remember the blessings in our life

2009-10-16T09:05:00.001-07:00

here's a link if you want to read jer's story!
http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=148&sid=8283956

2009-10-16T08:46:00.000-07:00

For those who don't know my brother-in-law Jeremy Kunz was killed on Saturday while participating in the ragnar las Vegas relay. he was hit by a drunk driver. He is survived by his beautiful wife Min and three children Brinci, toby and Gage. The funeral was beautiful and I am inspired by Jer and min as always. The family is doing a run at Wasatch back in June as a tribute to Jer. We will be team 2 the "really don't wannabes". You can search Ragnar relays to hear the story of Jer and make donations for min and the Kids. Thank you for all the love and support.

Update on me and the kids. Just bought a house and closed on September 15. It's a brand new home just built with 4 bedrooms, 2 1/2 baths 2431 sq feet. Love it. Still dating Corey Christensen and loving every minute of it. My computer crashed about 2 months ago so I am way behind on my blog. I got a promotion at work and am now working day shift and it came with a good raise. Mackenzie now 10 is in the 5th grade and is in 6th grade reading and math. she is adjusting to yet another new school quite well. Kyle is now 5 and is a kind hearted little guy. he loves playing with Brevan and is a great helper to his mommy. Brevan now 3 is a busy little guy as always. loves to torment his brother and sister relentlessly! He has a sweet and strong willed spirit...just got to get it channeled. for those who didn't know Brendan moved to Boise area this summer. it's been nice for the kids the last 2 months to have more regular visits with him. Hopefully it will pay off with a good relationship for them. we will see. I will try to post some pictures soon:)

2009-07-23T16:03:00.000-07:00

okay so I have fallen way behind on my blog. Mostly due to many of you having face book, but I am recommitted to catching you all up and staying on top of things. But now I will just do a generalized update and restart my seven on Sunday next week:)

So the past month in a half has been busy in so many ways. I met Corey the beginning of June and seems to be taking all my free time spending with each other. A little bit about him. Corey is a wonderful man who happens to be a sport fanatic in a good way! He has 4 children and 2 grandchildren...oh and he is 45. We have so much fun together and my kids adore him and he treats them like he would his own. He is active in church and temple worthy. We love going to the temple together and trash talking each other. Now his son is joining in the fun. We went to hit the ball this past week and I guess his son didn't get the memo that I played softball for 13 years! long story short i got blisters on my hands but now he knows i can hit the ball! so spending time with each other and our children have brought a new sense of joy and happiness into my life that I never thought would happen again.

We just returned from our trip to Indiana about a week ago. My mom flew out the middle of June to help with childcare and then road back the 30 hours in the van with me. The kids traveled better than I thought they would. It was lots of fun to see my family who I haven't seen in almost 3 years. My brother-in-law and nephews took the kids fishing for their first time. they all caught cat fish and bass. We went swimming while in Indiana with a big slide. We all enjoyed the fun of the pool. Besides being crowded and very loud and messy at my parents it was overall OK. I forget some things then I return and am reminded why i left. It was awesome seeing one of my best friends Kelly while i was there too and her 2 kids. I had some tire issues that added some extra expenses but we returned OK. I didn't get to see a good friend while I was there(sorry Angie) due to family expecting ALL my time and then i had some house issues that i needed to return home early to try to get done before I was suppose to close(what good that did!!!).

I have been working about 100 hours every 2 weeks to help make up some missed child support payments and save a bit. but I love my job, the residents, and my co workers. My job has brought me a best friend(Jen) who has helped me the past 8 months more than my family could because she has experienced being divorced in the LDS culture.

I am so blessed in my life beyond comprehension. Even though I was frustrated with not getting the house because of someone Else's choice, I know the Lord has something in store for me. I have been blessed with a best friend in Corey who treats me like a queen. This week has been a very emotional and stressful week and he cheered me up by sending the most beautiful dozen of roses to work that anyone has ever seen. Needless to say they were all jealous and I felt loved. He cherishes me and protects me in ways I have never experienced and this in itself is a miracle. I have a good job, a place to live, and 3 healthy and beautiful children. I have the gospel that brings me peace in times of trials. Even more important I have a testimony of Jesus Christ and the healing power of the atonement as well as the miracle of repentance. I am thankful to my parents for sacrificing time and money to come out and help much this summer. I am also in debt to my ward for showing me over and over again the love and service a ward family can give. I know the Lord prepares us for blessings he has in store, and when the time is "RIGHT" we can receive those blessings. I love Corey and often realize that we met when we were both prepared to meet. Thanks for all you love and support of so many friends and family. I will keep you updated in case a wedding date comes up! I'll publish photos next week!!!!!

2009-06-07T20:18:00.000-07:00

okay so how do you find out about people who are following your blog and you have no idea who they are? kind of weird but i would love to share ideas if that's why they are following my blog. I just get bothered not knowing if someone from my exes past will find me and be following what is going on with me and my kids. it happened on Myspace so it scares me a little. advice please!

2009-06-07T18:04:00.001-07:00

wade...Brendan's littlest brother graduates from high school...go snake river(I guess better than anything if you're not from Idaho)

and yes he does look like mic

Kenzie throws te shotput...gets 5th overall!

mackenzie takes a little break at the meet

brianna runs the 400 m and did fabulous...this was for steph since she missed this 1st race!

more kiddos at grad

kenie preparing for the 50m dash at the all district 4th grade track and field meet

moms enjoying the joy school graduation with some down time

kids taking time to pester their mommy:)

Kyle passed year one!!!!

Kyle's joy school graduation pom-poms!

the kitchen view of our new home

The outside of our new home

SEVEN ON SUNDAY

1.this has been one of the craziest months ever. I have had to work on average 50 hours a week with multiple doubles. and this next month isn't looking much better in regards to work schedule. On my days off this past coupl eof weeks have been spent in doctors offices or driving 300 miles one way...so no wonder between working so much and not having any down time that I have finally got sick! with strep n0n the less:) The kids are doing well in spight of broken arms, colds from camping in the rain(which they loved every minute of), andfinally enjoying summer break which is sure to be just as busy! enough about the life of Jess on to the events that have been fun!!!!

2. The 4th grade had a district wide track and field meet the end of may. Mackenzie participated in 4 events...1 running and 3 field. SHe got 2 8th place finishes and a 5th place overall. She did her best especially considering how nervous she was. It was a good teaching moment for me. I told her that I was proud of her no matter what as long as she did her best and finished the race! She did great! It was a good time for us to support her as a family and the boys really enjoyed it and cheering for their sister.

3. Broken arm....the day before school was out last week I got a call while I was out visiting teaching from the school. Well because I wasn't home and it didn't occur to them to call my cell, I didn't get the message until 3 hours after they called at 1 pm. I called them back and they proceeded to tell me she was fine now. No more than 15 minutes later they called me back to come and get her. So I hurried to fix the boys some lunch to eat in the van and headed over. I picked her up and realized that there was something wrong when the assistant said she'd gone through 4 ice packs and had some tylenol. I tried many of my usual sitters with kids my boys age...no one was available and poor steph was in BOISE. So i called someone I wouldn't have normally thought of after I prayed. She was more than Happy to watch my boys and they ran into her home. I know that I was inspired to call someone who would be kind to my children at this time of need. So off to urgent care for kenzie's arm. 3 1/2 hours later got the verdict she had a hairline fracture. Now waiting to go back for our follow-up...she's only splinted right now and shouldn't have to be casted. I picked up my bays later and you could tell all fell into place with Heavenly Father's help. Maybe because I went VT don't know just am greatful for an answered prayer during the broken bone time:)

4. Preschool Graduation....The next day after the broken bone i was in charge of the preschool graduation at my place. Thanks to the moms who willingly took on assignments to help me out. The pompom and caps were spectacular...There's no way I could've done them. The kids sang their little hearts out and My brother did a good job at being the commentator:) you just gotta know Nate to appreciate it! It was a fun year with Joy school but it definitely added more things to do to the plate that was already full. So I think next year we'll pay for the last year of prechool just so I don't have to teach!(I know selfish but worth it)

5. Well Wade Brendan's youngest brother graduated from high school this past week. SO after working 60 hours I took the kids down there on wednesday and drove back on thursday so I could work 18 hours on Friday and drive to Burley to pick them up on Saturday(for those who don't know it's about 300 miles one way for this trip). So after all that It was definitely worth seeing all the in-laws and cousins. PLus I wouldn't have been able to expereince the Hail storm and Wade's fabulous but short speech at graduation! Plus how could I have answered my noys question, " mommy why is everything here PURPLE?" So any snake river fans have that answer for my sweet boys?

6. Kids camping trip with Grandma and Grandpa....The Cox's had a mini reunion after the graduation at city of rocks. From my understanding it rained a lot and the kids loved the rocks. That's all I can get out of my kids. By the looks of them they had a BLAST!!!!And I would make that drive again for them to have that experience and those family memories. But on the down side they now all have runny noses and coughs...plus with my strep we are a pretty grumpy little family right now!

7. Temple...The subject of our third hour combined meeting at church today given to us by our stake president and his wife. the three topics were .1. preparing to receive your own temple blessings 2. always having a current temple recommend and if you don't get one 3. regularly and frequently attending the temple. There was such a beautiful spirit in the meeting and I was reminded about my first experience in the temple. It was on my 12Th birthday and we were finally being sealed as a family in the Chicago temple. Seeing everyone all dressed in white and how happy they all looked made my make a promise to myself that day to live my life so that I can have the blessing of an eternal family of my own. As I reflect up on my life I have found the greatest peace in the temple and have learned more about the Love our Father in Heaven has for each of us. Life doesn't always work out the way we may have planned when we were 12, but the blessings of the temple are always there. I want to testify that although my family may be different than I had originally planned it is still a family that is bound by a priesthood sealing ordinance. The Lord is merciful and I will not believe that I cannot be with my children in the eternities. So to those who are wondering about the reality of the power and peace the temple can bring into your life....test it out for yourself. Become worthy to enter and see what miracles the Lord can do!

2009-05-10T15:45:00.000-07:00

okay this monkey was definitely posing for pictures!

mother's day....kenzie trying out her photo skills

the sleeping tigers

the beautiful Cat!

my children were nesting

asia in idaho?

2009-05-10T15:21:00.000-07:00

Seven on Sunday

1. Happy Mother's Day to all my wonderful Mom and friends. We are truly blessed to have the privilege of being called "mommy". A mother's day quote by Marjorie Hinkley, "there is no such thing as the perfect mother............ we just do the best we can with the help of the Lord, and who knows, these children who are struggling to be free may someday rise up and call us blessed."

2. So this past 2 weeks have been filled with sickness for our little family. Started with Mackenzie puking all over my brother's bathroom floor and wall while I was at work. He was such a good sport and cleaned it all up. Then 2 days later Kyle woke up in the middle of the night puking and I was suppose to work at 6 am so I had to call in (my first time in almost a year). then I woke up the next day with the other problem:) and then Sunday morning last week was puking while sitting on the toilet....ARGH!!! Brevan walks in and asks is that poop in the trash? gotta love kids. The best is that brevan was bypassed this time around!

3. House Hunting is FINALLY over. I am in contract with a brand new 4 bedroom, 2 1/2 bath with a family room and living room. I LOVE it! thanks to my wonderful new friend and agent Denise. She has been a godsend these past 2 months. Not only with house hunting but being a wonderful friend. I am closing on the house June 17. Hoping to move it up a week or 2. Will find out this week if that is possible. I will post pictures of the house this week:)

4. Day with the kids at the Zoo. So I was feeling sorry for myself this past few weeks. Being alone on Mother's day doing the same thing as any other day of the week or year. So I decided to take the kids out and have some fun. So we went to the Boise Zoo. They had so much fun seeing animals, playing on animal slides and acting like monkeys in the education centers. They were good and it wasn't too hot to enjoy like our last zoo trip in DC for those who remember that! after the zoo we went to chuckie cheese's. of course they loved it and i was plum tired of kids and noise by the end of the day!

5. My job is wonderful. We have a new resident who is a strong member of the church who helped with the cristus in Temple square. I went to work one day and he was drinking coffee. I asked him why and he said that's all they ever offer me here.....I was livid. You don't do that to Alzheimer's patients. They may be losing there mind but we don't disrespect their values and beliefs. I asked him if he was suppose to drink it and he smiled and said No and then replied to me you are a Mormon too huh? These are the ones you really grow to love. I did talk to my aids and explain a little thing about respecting things people hold sacred and not to violate those things.

6. School is almost over and it is not coming soon enough. Between school with kenzie, preschool with Kyle, and me working I am plum burned out. I have decided not to do Joy school next year and put Kyle in a Pre-K program and not stress myself anymore. Kenz is excited to do some camps this summer...a science and tennis one. it will be fun for her. WE are also having my parents here for 2 weeks each and then we are driving to Indiana for 2 weeks. so the summer will be full of fun and family.

7. I just want to tell everyone Thank You for all of your prayers and support this past year. Many changes have taken place and seem to be almost monthly. But through it all I have greatly appreciated the love and support from friends and family. I know the Lord is watching over me and my kids. Some days are easier than others but each day comes a new hope that all will be well. Plus look what I have learned to do on my own! definitely don't recommend it but does make you realize that all things are possible with God.

2009-04-23T19:40:00.000-07:00

Finished product of our Easter cookies

Kenzie showing her thrill of making the cookies

Kyle is so proud he cut it out all by himself

Brevan...oh the one he didn't eat before it was baked:)

Mom is trying to just finish up...past bedtime, and I just love making sugar cookies. Just not 5 dozen of them!

My baby is almost three...Brevan

my three joys in this life...Kyle, Mackenzie, and Brevan

My little girl is growing into a beautiful young lady

pose one! two! and three!

Kyle...when did he become 5...almost

Seven On (what day is it:)) Sunday!

1. I am posting pictures first! I cannot believe it has been more than a month since I have posted. a lot has been going on and life always seems to be full of major decisions for me! so for number one...I am looking to buy a house. It has been a stressful adventure and I am hoping the "one" will come along and be what I love. To find one the I think I can afford versus what the bank says I an afford is becoming a challenge for me. I guess if it's meant to be it will happen. Wish me luck!

2. Spring Break....Well the kids spend 5 days(thurs-tues) with their dad in pocatello/Blackfoot. To say the least "daddy" got a taste of my life. Mackenzie had croup and vomiting going on most of the time, Kyle had the diarrhea which is so much fun cleaning out of underwear, and Brevan well he was himself do I need to say more. Then the night before he brought them to me his fuel pump went out of his car. I felt bad for him, and he finally has a feel for what i do everyday. Balancing work, sick kids, and any kind of disaster that entails them both and in between. Brendan's was just compacted into 4 days....sorry but I did laugh.

I worked 58 hours that weekend in 3 days so I was glad he had the kids and they seemed to enjoy seeing family for a few days.

3. Easter Cookies galour. Well a tradition I started when Kenzie was a toddler is making sugar cookies for Easter, Halloween, and Christmas. This year I have had to force myself to get into the mood to do this with the kids. It's something they look forward too and something mom dreads! We did survive. I decided to half the recipe so I didn't end up with 10 dozen! Between that and brevan eating the dough nonstop we ended up with 4 dozen. This was brevan's first year to really get into it and it was fun watching Kyle show him what to do and kenzie mothering them both. I did still have to finish them after they went to bed. My coworkers really enjoyed them too! I can't eat them so I have to take the goodies out:)

4. Easter egg hunt at my work. Well the it was rainy and I had to work a semi double the night before...my pm shift plus nocs. I was half tempted not to take them since i was going on 3 hours of sleep and had a 4 hour drive to se idaho. Well I took them and I'm glad I did. Kyle laughed and smiled the whole time and found 46 eggs all filled with candy...ARGH! Brevan cried and didn't want anything to do with the hunt until a Coworker of mine showed him the chocolate and then he found 35 eggs. Kenzie did well too and that meant my kids had their treats for our road trip:)

5. Saturday before Easter we went to Brendan' sisters wards Easter breakfast and hunt. The food was good and the candy even better! Later we decorated eggs. Once again it was fun watching Brevan enjoy all this for his first time. Kyle is becoming quite the artist and likes to design his eggs now, and Mackenzie is getting to that age where she wants to keep being a kid and trying to grow up. I'll keep her a kids as long as I can!

6. Me well I have been working my butt off with a personal trainer and a meal plan. I've lost 8 pounds in 5 weeks and she is killing me which is helping me train for my half-marathon that I am registered for. I never knew my muscles could hurt so much after weight training. My run time is actually improving. Who knew the key ti decreasing your time was in the weight training not running more! The good thing is i am definitely more conscious of my food especially since I'm paying someone to tell me what to eat and how to work out:) I am enjoying work still...minus the heat of this past week! It was registering 94 degrees in the building. All the dementia patients were stripping...we had a nudist colony on that unit for a few days. I almost joined them!

7. We had stake conference this past weekend. It was a broadcast from SLC. The talk that hit home to me the most was from Elder Christopherson of the quorum of the twelve. He talked a lot about repentance, and told a story about a friend who had been excommunicated. He said this friend after being excommunicated became comfortable in his new lifestyle. After quite some time he finally felt like something was missing. His family and the church. He went through with the repentance process humbly and was eventually re baptized. Elder Christopherson stated that at that minute during the baptism he felt a strong witness that said this man is clean he is clean! What an experience. I know loved ones who are praying for this same miracle to happen. I know in my heart it will someday and he too will be clean again and the sins will be forgotten by the Lord. The lord wants us to help those to repent with a loving hand of fellowship and a nonjudgmental friendship. I am so grateful for the atonement of our Savior and know that we all need repentance and healing in our lives at some point if not everyday. So here's to knowing we are all children of our Heavenly Father and all striving for a common goal eternal life with HIM. Some of us take side streets and lots of turns along the way, but the goal is the same. I love my Savior and know he lives and loves us all no matter what!

2009-03-15T17:40:00.000-07:00

Seven on Sunday

1.So I got my hair done AGAIN! It's nice for $20 bucks I can get my hair cut and colored...plus my eyebrows and lip waxed. So due to this I seem to get my hair done every 2 months. This time I went a little bold and I LOVE it. it feels good to have someone make you feel beautiful...right ladies!

2.So Jared a friend of mine told me about this awesome park in downtown Boise located in the foothills, Camel's Back. So yesterday since it was near 60 and sunny and i was off work, me and the kids ventured on a trip. It was absolutely beautiful(and yes i am saying areas in Idaho are beautiful). There was a fun playground before you hot the trails. This picture is on top of one of the trails looking North away from the city. Took my breath away to think of all the majesty of our Heavenly Father's and Savior's creations!

3.this is a picture of the boys sliding down the Camel's Back. It was much easier climbing up this hill than coming down thus the reason for sliding:). My boys did so good at hiking. Brevan at 2 1/2 amazed me with his ability to go like the energizer bunny. Wish i could bottle up that energy and I'm sure I'd make millions. Kyle loves to show his little brother how to do new things. So it was fun for me to watch them slide together and of course Kyle had to go first. I pray that he will always want to show Brevan how to do the "right" things the "right" way!

4. The kids made it up the trails with little complaining. As you can see they are all smiling. They had fun running ahead of each other and then sitting down to wait for the rest of us. Mackenzie continues to amaze me with how much she can help out with the boys and at times like today actually enjoys it. My heart took several pictures and captured memories that the camera never will be able to do. Thanks to my kids for helping me find Joy in this journey that has been difficult the last few months. Picture of Kyle still going after our 3mile hike(i know some of you are thinking only 3 miles but hey it was a lot of up hills and I am not a pack mule so carrying kids back wasn't an option)

5. After all of our playing and hiking we headed back down old town Boise(btw is beautiful) and we found this adorable little ice cream parlor. So to end the day we stopped for ice cream dinner(we ate a picnic on our trails) about 5:30 pm. The ice cream is all homemade and is FABULOUS and fattening. It was SO good buck to be honest way too rich to eat to much. I sure felt sick afterwards. The place also sells homemade candies and the kids wanted to try everything, but mom had to say no!

6. Church today was GREAT! finally we sat through and entire sacrament meeting and I even was able to listen to most of the 2 talks. Brevan stayed after crying a little bit in nursery which is a bonus. He hasn't stayed in weeks. The thing I loved the most was being able to feel the spirit before and during church. The kids all got ready with no fighting and to church on time. I love it when all things seem to go smoothly. It was an answer to many prayers and tears. So here's to more great Sabbaths.

7. Faith....today one of the talks was about faith. The high counselor spoke of a man's love for his dear wife who suffered from Alzheimer's disease and hadn't recognized him in 5 years. The talk went on to say that she may not know me but I still know her and one day she will know that I still loved her when she couldn't show me the same love. WOW! I realized how much this is the kind of eternal relationship I want in my life. Since working with Alzheimer's for almost 8 months I see glimpses of this love. One little old lady brings her husband a milkshake every Saturday because that was their tradition. He still doesn't recognize her, but it sure warms my heart as I see him walking down the hall for minutes eating that milkshake and smiling not knowing who brought him this little piece of heaven. May we have this kind of faith in the eternal promise of eternal relationships and family.

2009-03-10T12:18:00.000-07:00

Seven On Sunday

1. Okay so everyone comments how positive I always am and I really try to be happy about life. Well this once I am going to state something and I hope it makes us more aware of how we treat people or at least think before we speak. This past months has been challenging with very personal decisions made. What I will say is I know the Lord is aware of each of us our feelings, trials, and especially our needs. After being divorced for almost 8 months now a few things we as members of the church need to realize.

one-you cannot assume any reasons for peoples divorce. we don't know the story so let's not speculate.

two-most women who divorce for similar reasons go through a series of grieving processes, but the one that seems to come back again is that we would get more support emotional from our wards if our husbands had died.

three- read the article in the February ensign almost last page about single mom's. We feel awful for asking for help more frequently. sometimes it's nice when a person recognizes a need and volunteers to help....some obvious is the lack of priesthood we have in our homes, what can you do as a priesthood holder. So here is my venting!

2. Last week we had the most beautiful rainbow in the world after a freak rainstorm. I instantly thought of the song.....when I am baptized. How clean and pure the air smelled and then to look up and see the rainbow as a reminder of our Heavenly Father's love. What a feeling of peace I experienced.

3. Joy School. This months we are learning about the joy of trust and confidence and teaching our children these truths. we talked about seasons and mother nature and how we can trust mother nature....Kyle(who's the oldest) said, "mommy mother nature doesn't make the season Heavenly Father and Jesus do!" Wow they do remind of us simple truths. So I continued to teach something that I had to be STRONGLY reminded of at the moment that we can always trust Heavenly Father and Jesus and that builds confidence the eternal scheme of things. Especially when we are amidst a trial.

4. Mackenzie just participated in Jump rope for Heart last week. She really had fun practicing and then performing well. She is growing up into this young woman right before my eyes. She loves life and really tries to see positive things. As a result i was reminded that she is still yet my baby girl and I need to let her still be a child. I took this dilemma to the Lord because I have added more responsibility to her than maybe I should have when the divorce happened. After a couple of weeks of not expecting her to babysit so much...Wow! she loves her brothers again. I am grateful Heavenly Father showed me the way that I could still exercise and have that time for myself(which I feel makes me a better mom) without her feeling like she has to be the mom. Thanks for the small reminders that help us see the problems and find the answers.

5. Brevan continues to grow and become such a little man. I can hardly believe he will be 3 in a few months. he loves learning and having to mommy time 2 days a week. Still can pitch a hellacious fit but they are becoming fewer times a day:)

6. Anatomy....so we discovered that our female "blossom" cat is indeed not a girl at all. As we were scratching her tummy the other day brevan points down and says mommy look a snake! oh yea she or he had an erection. So now we have decided that he needs to get a new collar instead of the pink sparkly one with a bell. Can't change the name because he answers to Blossom! So i think there was a reason I went into nursing and not veterinarian career.

7. The Lord keeps opening windows when the doors seem to be shutting all around me. After telling Mike that it was over and to lose my number I felt lonely for a few weeks. Gave me time to forget about men and refocus on being a mom and what it is I really want out of Life. Do I just want to get married to someone because he is a member and holds the priesthood, or do I want that plus someone who cares for me and puts me first? I realized it's okay to be friends and date for a while. on that note I am dating someone else after not going on a date in 5 weeks. It's nice to have a friend. This time no child meeting until we see where we want things to go if anywhere. The good thing is that I have a new workout partner who is killing me in a good way...he's a marine who spent 2 tours in Iraq and one in Afghanistan. So physical fitness is important to him. so ending on a good note....thanks for not giving up on this bonehead girl. i will figure it all out with the Lord's help and all of your encouragement.

(okay one more thing my brother sean came up last week for a visit from texas...he's getting divorced so it was a needed break for him. so the picture of him and nate was a priceless one a captured with my phone)

2009-02-23T08:03:00.000-08:00

Seven on Sunday
1. Well A lot has changed in 2 weeks. The major one for me is that Mike and I are not seeing or talking anymore. Call it irreconcilable differences. He decided that I should quit talking to Brendan and that my relationship with the Cox family should be kept at a distance now that Brendan and I are divorced. So anyone who knows me knows that if you try to tell me what not to do it will make me mad. I Love the coxes and they are my family forever:). Also he thought I talked to my dad too much. Oh well it's good to find things out before any major commitments are made.

2. Brendan came up this last week for a few days. had some national guard classes. So it was good for the kids to see him so much the last few weeks. We were down there over valentine's weekend. took the kids swimming with their cousins and eat pizza with the family. They had so much fun with grandpa and uncle wade to swimming. Thanks for a great weekend!

3. Parent teacher conferences were last week too. Mackenzie is doing great in school except for writing. We couldn't figure out why her language grade was down. she had all exceeds requirements but in writing. Well we got it straightened out, Her writing grade is 50% of her language grade. each test has writing portions. Well if you know Mackenzie she hates writing with a passion. She can tell you exactly what to write down but she doesn't write it on her tests. 5 years later and we are still dealing with her hate of writing. We love her anyways.

4. Kyle is pooping more in the toilet now. So we are almost 100% trained. Brevan is starting to show some interest now too. so hopefully by this summer we will be completely out of diapers. YEA!!!

5. We had a good week this week over. A bit stressful but things got resolved. Brendan has agreed to stay elsewhere when he visits the kids here. It has become to emotional to have him here for me. Then the kids wonder why he is leaving again. It has been good for transitioning but now we need them to know reality. I am sure it will be just fine.

6. This weekend was tons of fun. My brother Sean is here from Texas for a while. I also went out with a good friend who moved here a couple of months ago. We grew up together in Indiana. Brian is a good man and the kids love him, but I am in no way ready for a relationship. Friends are good especially those who understand your situation. It was tons of fun watching the twins and Brian together. Reminded me of our childhood. I haven't laughed that much in months. Very therapeutic:).

7. Thought for the week. I read an article in the ensign titled, " I ran to him." About a son who runs and his father is always at every race, but he stands in an different place. It's a place where his son would want to quit but he would be at that leg of the race to tell him to go on and he could do it. It wasn't the beginning or the end but where he would be needed the most. That is how our Heavenly Father is. When things are good he is there and he will be there at the end too, but when we cannot go on and our burdens seem the heaviest that is where the Savior and our Father in Heaven are the most to carry us through. I am thankful for the gospel especially these past months when I have felt completely alone at times. It's easy to put on a smile and tell people you are fine, but the nights are hard and only the comfort of the Holy Ghost are there. One more thing that made me feel like I am doing things right, brevan said yesterday before church, " Kyle we are going to church. The Holy Ghost is there right mommy?" It made my heart melt to know I am teaching them and they are understanding something. So here's to us all Keep the Faith@

2009-02-09T09:36:00.000-08:00

Millions on Monday

1. Okay so it's been more than a months since I have updated and shard my life with you all. A lot of things have been going and life is still crazy. The first thing that was wonderful is on January 11 I was asked to give a talk in sacrament meeting. It was from the November ensign...Pres Uchdorf's talk on hope. I learned a ton about myself and the life we are currently living. I gave the talk in slow motion(well in my mind it was) and all the old people could understand what I was saying:)!

2. This same weekend Mike came up to listen to my talk and help out wit the 3 kiddos during sacrament. It was a wonderful weekend and he even said, "I love you!" I couldn't believe how well behaved Brevan was with Mike being there. It was fabulous. Mike got to meet my brother and that went over well...He and Brendan even met and that went over tons better than I could have ever hoped for. Mike also told me and the kids that he wanted to be a permanent part of our lives...No he didn't ask me to marry him!

3.A little update on the kids....Mackenzie is still a tremendous help to me with her brothers. She just finished a report that was a 2 week long project on Houdini. Her oral presentation went great. She still has a problem with writing...she HATES it! She can tell you all about something but she will fight tooth and nail to write it on paper. She loves activity day girls in primary and is wanting to play spring soccer. Kyle still loves Joy school and primary. He is finally getting the hang of pooping in the toilet. It's been 5 days since I had to change poopy undies:) He continues to amaze me with how much he knows...he'll tell me mommy that is number 33 or that is letter k. wow! And Brevan...what more can I say besides he is our precious little spirit with and endless supply of energy. He is learning his colors and how to count. He loves to play with Kyle, first thing in the morning you hear, "Kyle will you play with me?" It melts my heart. The kids are doing well and love to be with their cousins here and there. Their new favorite toy is the Wii that we just bought last week. It has brought tons of enjoyment for us all!

4. Me well work is still there and I absolutely love it. No 2 days are ever the same and I really have grown to love my patients, some more than others, and there families have touched my heart in many ways. I am learning a lot about myself in the professional area...even if I did get written up for something totally stupid and my supervisor tells me that I am a better nurse than this!! retarded(I'll tell you about it later when I am done fuming about it).

5. This past weekend was great for us all. The weather was 50 degrees which allowed for some much needed outside work to get done. The kids and I cleaned up the backyard...poop and all and cleaned out the garage(a every 4 month project). The kids did so well with not complaining. They even did their inside chores quickly, I think that had something to do with the doughnuts I got for breakfast. and then we went to wal-mart in the evening and they got to pick out a cheap toy for all their hard work. It was so nice to spend the day outside. Brendan came over in the evening and helped put together my new entertainment center and television( i splurged) and re hook up the new wii. the kids didn't get to bed until 10:30 but it was worth it. then yesterday Brendan was here after church and we spent a family day together and even watch august rush....which is now my new favorite movie...loved the music. As we sat on the couch as a "family" it reminded me the way things are SUPPOSE to be. it made me sad. But as I said it was a GREAT weekend for us all.

6. This next weekend will be spent in SE Idaho with our loved ones there. hope you are all excited for us to come:)

7. My thoughts for this past month...in Ether in the Book of Mormon Ether the prophet says, " You receive no witness until after the trial of your faith." I always thought it applied to receiving a testimony of the gospel but I now have a new insight for myself. I have prayed about many things and received my answers, but they just don't seem to be happening. I realized the Lord has answered my prayers, but He never gave me a time frame. So am I a sign seeker to believe or do I have the faith to be tried until I receive my witness or answers to what I have prayed about. I know that faith isn't easy...we chose to come to earth to be tried and tested. I just hope that while I am learning to have faith that at some point I will also receive some patience. We love you all and are eternally grateful for our Idaho family and of course our flesh and blood that is spread across the country. thanks for all the prayers in our behalf.

PS...i will post some updated pictures later:)

2009-01-04T15:20:00.000-08:00

Nathan and his family at Direct TV"s Christmas party with SANTA

Kyle playing Joseph in his Joy school play of the first Christmas

the Kids always get Santa Pajamas and here they are showing them off

me and the kids letting Santa know our Christmas wishes!

PICTURES of our FESTIVITIES!!!!

I forgot to tell you all about my singing karaoke at Direct TV with mackenzie...Only she could get me up their to feel like a fool. A present in a way for her!

2009-01-04T14:58:00.000-08:00

Seven On Sunday
1. The past 2 weeks have been full of illness and more illness. It started the end of November and keeps hanging on...You know the GI crap and then the unexplainable High Fevers. More of the same. Starts with one and every few days another person recover and the next person gets it. I am hoping the new year will be filled with less CRAP!

2.HOLIDAY activities have been in full bloom this months as well. The kids just got home from spending a week in Blackfoot/Pocatello with their dad, Me and grandparents. During their/ my stay we were able to go sledding with lots of family...well all of Brendan's siblings and their families. We had so much fun pretending we were young and keeping up with the children. I must say those of us who took courage with that MIGHT Jump were brave and definitely sore the next day. I got reminded that I am no long 10 anymore! Also a BIG thank you to MY mother/father in-law for fabulous Fondu party. I was sad I wouldn't get it this year, but I did and am so grateful to them.

3. My trip to Blackfoot was costly! So on my way to Blackfoot I was driving totally white knuckled due to the snow storm. I made it all the way to American Falls on Saturday the 27Th before the OH %&%# happened. I hit ice and did a 360 on the interstate and went into the steep median packed with 5 feet of snow(okay not 5 feet). I was scared and it cost me $200 for the toll truck to pull me out. I do have some front end damage but not major. So here's to being alive which I am very happy about and that it wasn't any worse.

4. New Year's Eve. So I had no kids on New Year's eve which made it possible for me to go out. My fabulous friend Jen from work an d group of us went to a BSU institute dance. We went to the cheesecake factory first and BOY it was GOOD! The dance was lots of fun, even if my thighs hurt afterwards. It was good to be out with "OLDER" lds people and have wholesome fun! Did wonders for the start of my new year!

5. New year's day. Brendan brought the kids home today. My brother and his family came over for some awesome food and good times with the karaoke. Thanks to Brendan for the hot wings. Nate became our official wine bibber, or sparkling cider bibber.

6. New year goals....I decided this year to share some of my goals. If people ask me how I am doing I feel more responsible for the goals. So if you see me ask:)\
1. Find the blessings during the trials
2. be more positive...must find 10 positive things about life's circumstances each day(and yes the can repeat each day)
3. more patient with my kids
4. get Kyle to poop in toilet and Brevan out of diapers
5. Do mommy dates each month with my kids individually
6. Have ME time

and of course the never ending becoming more healthy and fit!

7. What I Have learned this past year. The main thing I have learned has to do with forgiveness. One of the last things the Savior said was, "Father forgive them for they know not what they do." I have learned that he didn't ever say that they weren't sinning they just didn't realize exactly the consequences of their choices. I have often wondered if those individuals would do the same if they could have seen the future, probably not! I think of Brendan and wonder if he could have seen the consequences of his choices and the heartache and hardship it has caused if his choices would have been different. So I say to my self...."Father please forgive him and keep him safe until he has the desire to change." We must forgive those who spitefully use and abuse us in order to have out sins forgiven. I hope that one day I can be worthy to enter into my Father's mansion and be able to say...Yes I did forgive others. May this year draw us closer to our Heavenly Father and Savior. Happy New year to you all!

2008-12-14T14:46:00.000-08:00

Seven on Sunday

1. Mackenzie got her progress report home for the mid term and FINALLY straight A's again. It's been a rough go here at her new school with all the changes. She still made the honor roll, but her grades weren't as good as were are use to seeing. GO LOU!

2. Okay Kyle is staying dry most nights and all day...But for goodness sakes can we PLEASE stop pooping in our pants! I left a pair of underwear in the toilet last night to rinse while I was bathing...well I forgot about them and Brevan flushed them down......! I was waiting for plumbing problems in the kids' bathroom, but so far we are safe. Kyle was upset about her underwear and all I could say was, "well maybe you should quit pooping in them!" Bad mom I know. today has been better.

3. Brevan and his joys of being an adventurous soul. He decided today to run up on the stage again(last week too) during sacrament meeting. His bag of goldfish and all sat down in the choir pews and was actually being quiet. I was so embarrassed again. Actually I am getting use to it. Some days I REALLY wish I had another pair of hands to help on Sundays.

4. Pukes.....Kyle woke up Wednesday night at 10 pm puking and din;t stop until 0530. He was a good trooper and used a bowl most of the time. I spent most of the day on Thursday doing laundry. So far no one else has gotten it. Kenzie had it a few weeks ago. Hoping they stay well for the upcoming holidays.

5. Photo shoot. Yesterday we did a family photo shoot. It took 3 hours and the kids were tired of waiting, but none the less they cooperated well with a McDonald's bribe from mom. This was tons cheaper than wal-mart and we got the pictures at the end! I am attaching a few of my favorites...100 pictures were taken! also I need addresses for those who would like Christmas cards this year...if not you will read a generic post for the holidays from me! Okay so I cannot rotate the pictures on this blog thing...can someone tell me how?

6. this week has been busy...okay what week isn't but my days off were jam packed or taking care of sick kid. the highlight was Wednesday. My tradition for VT in December is to have all the sisters over for a Christmas lunch and receive the message. My companion was awesome and took to the idea. They all came over on Wednesday for the lunch and message. it was wonderful. I am learning to love them more each month and pray I can help them in some meager way. After they left the lunch, my HT came over and then my VT came after he left. it was a wonderful day with lots to think about.

7. Trials. this week I had a rough moment. I went to a lady's house for a playgroup and to finish a project. while being there I realized once again what a outcast i feel like at these things. They all were talking about spouses and dates. So I took the first opportunity and left. I know it;s getting better in the church dealing with divorcees, but you still feel like you are wearing the scarlet letter. However I did have a prayer answered later that day. A new nurse was hired to be our unit manager last week. We instantly hit it off. Come to find out she is LDS and also Divorced. It was a miracle for both of us. She is lucky though no kids involved. She is hooking me up with her single adult group that doesn't require one to be using a walker or wheelchair to be involved!!!( and no I am not joking). So I am learning that people need to understand our situations before we get upset with them. Don't take it personally people do things without realizing what they say or do. So here is to finding HOPE again in my single adult life with my 3 beautiful and amazing children!

2008-12-08T08:17:00.001-08:00

okay so a few of you have added me to view your blog using my cableone email....well it doesn't work with blogger. I am signed up with my old email address so please add me to or invite me using this email....Jess_brendancox@hotmail.com. the one's I can remember are steph B, melodie, Coxes(cali), Tiff and Kyle and of course any who feel inclined to allow me to stalk them:) thanks again for helping me with the mess I created!

2008-12-08T07:36:00.000-08:00

SEVEN on SUNDAY

1. Kyle woke up 13 days ago and said, "Mommy I want to wear underwear!" Yes it's official Kyle is potty trained. If only he will poop in the toilet:( ARGH! It took him deciding he wanted to be a big boy and it was done. He has had minimal urine accidents and almost everyday poohs in his pants...any tips on that one? I am so proud of him!

2. I have finally got a decent schedule at work. I work Mon, Tues, and Friday every week and then one sometimes 2 weekends a months. So I am not feeling so scrapped on time....until school starts in January!!!

3. Thanks to my beautiful daughter Mackenzie....I had a girls day out with Steph on Saturday. She watched the boys so we could get our hair cut and go to lunch. I had SOOOO much fun. Thanks Nate too for letting me steal you lovely Wife all day! Steph it was too much fun...we definitely need to do it more often:)

4. Chocolate Syrup mess! So you would think my boys would have learned after the yogurt dilemma...Oh no while my dear daughter was babysitting Brevan decided to get a hold of the chocolate syrup and drink it. as well as pour it all over my couch and carpet. I came home to check in with them and he so sweetly says, " mommy I am messy!" I just hugged and kissed him and then changed his clothes....mostly because I was cleaning carpets later anyway. I did make a new rule....NO food or Drinks in the Living room ANYMORE!!!!!

5. Christmas Decorating....so on Wednesday we put up our tree for family home evening and decorated. It always amazes me how we start out so excited and by the end just want it finished! I got a prelit tree so no light issues. So this meant we had minimal fighting, but none the less there was a little! the finished product!

6. My new calling....Just so those who weren't aware are now definitely aware.....I am the ward single adult rep! So it is official I am a single mom in case anyone was wondering:)

7. A message of Hope. Last night we watched the first presidencies Christmas devotional. As I listened to the messages they were messages of hope, traditions, and unconditional love for others. This is a season of giving and offering Hope to those in unfortunate circumstances. As I reflect on the Humble birth of our Savior Jesus Christ in the lowly manger wrapped in swaddling clothes, I am in awe at the Love He has for each of his Father's children. May we show that love to those around us during the holiday season and throughout the whole year!

2008-11-24T09:21:00.000-08:00

okay all i lost my blog links when I redid my template....please look so I can add you to my list again. Also does anyone know how to save your extras when you change the template? thanks !

2008-11-24T08:18:00.000-08:00

Okay I have to do a new idea....Seven on whenever I get a chance:)
Seven On Sunday!
1. Okay it's been 3 weeks since I have posted and a lot has happened. So #1 I am NOT moving back to the Blackfoot area. I am staying in Nampa where my job I love and is secure, Kenzie is adjusting to school, the boys are enjoying love, and I have dependable childcare. So that 's the scoop on this.

2. Update on Jess....I am still seeing Mike Nyberg who lives in Idaho Falls. I have some trust issues and he is sensitive to them. I am volunteering at Kenz's school every Wednesday and am loving it. Still doing Joy School, and running 5days a week. I may just get to do the half marathon in Boise this Spring. Still working and loving my job more everyday. No 2 days are the same at work and makes me look forward to the SANE days:) Most of all I love my kids and we have adjusted to the changes in our lives and enjoying the journey together.

3. Update on Mackenzie..... She has been sick this weekend with the ever so fabulous GI CRAP! ARGH... I hate that virus more than anything. She is better today and no one else has gotten it(well i had it about 10 days ago and still had to work!). We had P/T Conference earlier this months. She is way above grade level in her reading fluency and comprehension...so instead of doing fluency her and 2 other kids in her class get to do research projects. That translates mom has more work to do with her! She loves her teacher who has been great for her with all the life changes she has has this summer. Lots of friends and loves activity days and primary. She is the loudest singer I get told almost every week at church:) wonder where that comes from! She is a great help to me and I love her very much. Thanks LOU LOU!

4. Update on Kyle...Kyle is still doing Joy School and absolutely loves it. Has been great for us all. He is still NOT potty trained, I have about given up, so Brendan is doing it this week(Good Luck daddy)! He is becoming quite the smarty pants. Knows his abc's by recognition and numbers. Loves to learn and write new things by connecting the dots. He likes to help Brevan get out of trouble, believe it or not. He loves his primary class and his little friends. I cannot believe how grown up he is becoming at 4. He is just such a little man and loves to help me clean(I take advantage of it because I know it doesn't last). He sometimes reminds me of my brother Sean and his sense of humor. THANK BIG BROTHER!!!

5. Update on Brevan...Well Brevan was well on his way with potty training until Kyle convinced him there was a snake in the toilet that was going to bite his peepee off...ARGH!!! So now he says no there's a snake in there. Big Brothers what do you do with them:) He loves to tease the dickens out of his older siblings. They easily react to him and that just makes him do it more....little chomper scares the older two. HE is learning so much from his big brother and sister. Most of it good, a few bad habits. He likes to ride the dog like a horse and Princess is so patient with him. He brings lots of laughter to our family.

6. Animals. Princess is still her cute annoying self. We have inherited a cat. 2 weeks ago I was woke up at 0710 by this thing pouncing on my head. It was this cat. It was meowing at our door so Brevan and Kenzie let it in. Now the thing won't leave. We have named her Blossom and she and princess are adjusting to each other well. So there's are animals!

7. I have two Favorite quotes from this past General conference that has helped me tons. First one is from the talk "The Way" By Elder Lawrence E. Corbridge. " Life is hard, but life is simple. Get on the path and never, ever give up. You never give up, you just keep on going. You don't quit, and you will make it." He put is so simple yet profound. Life is definitely hard, but what makes the difference is you don't quit living the gospel. That has made the world of difference for me. the second quote is why I don't give up and keep going forward. "Come what may, and love it" By Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin. Under the Principle of Compensation, "the Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added to them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude." What a great promise to us all. I hope we all will keep the faith and know that we can "cast our burdens upon Jesus Christ" and lighten our load so that we can Just keep going for today. I love you all and am so grateful at this time when the holiday season is beginning for all of the blessing and prayers that have come my way. I have felt the "tender Mercies" of our Savior often. Let's be grateful for them is my prayer.

2008-10-31T08:51:00.001-07:00

pictures

2008-10-31T08:30:00.000-07:00

SEVEN on SUNDAY(or Friday)

1. This month the joy school moms took took the kids to the pumpkin patch. They were able to go through corn mazes, pick pumpkins, and have a fun hay ride. Joy school has been so good for all of us this fall. It gives kyle time with children his age and brevan gets some mommy time. It has also taught Kyle how to share a lot better without mommy yelling at him!

2. I met this amazing guy named Mike Nyberg. A little about him. He is 40 has 2 boys and a daughter that was adopted from Samoa(she's back there long story). He is living in Pocatello right now. He is very active in church, Temple worthy, and an RM(a couple of decades ago, sorry dear!) The wonderful thing is that he will call me just to say I am thinking of you right now but I have to go back to work. Last Friday we did the "let's meet the kids thing". Our kids got along really good. Mackenzie thinks mike is great. He called the other night while i was putting away groceries and he got a 20 minute conversation out of her.....and that NEVER happens. She was so excited to tell him about Halloween costumes and asked him about the boys. So Needless to say I have been blessed with a great friend. Especially after this past week. He has listened to all my woes and not complained...actually gave some good advice.

3. Job offer, well I am moving back to the SE Idaho area in a few weeks. I got a job offer there and it is closer to Brendan so he can help out more and be more involved in the kids' life. Plus we miss family there, but I am going to MISS my Brother and STEPH!!!!! guys just buck up and move too:)

4. Laryngitis still continues. After a month I still have laryngitis. Went to doctor, got some prednisone and after 9 days it's starting to help I think.

5. Yogurt messes and lessons learned. Tuesday afternoon while getting ready for work I had given the boys some yogurt for a snack. Princess, the dog, comes into my bathroom covered in blueberry yogurt. I didn't even want to look. I went into the living room and the boys were also covered as were my walls, floors, tv, and furniture. Kyle said so innocently ,"we were having a food fight mommy!" what do you do. I wanted to yell and scream all I did was get some towels and helped them clean up. We talked about how food fights are best done outside so we don't ruin things. I learned that kids need to discover and learn things and sometimes we as parents have to calm down and enjoy the moment.

6.Happy Halloween!!! I will post pictures later next week. This week for Halloween celebration The kids and I carved pumpkins and made our traditional sugar cookies. The cookies always take the longest. They get excited until the3 rd batch and mom ends up finishing them.

7. Thoughts on Life. Life is full of lessons to be learned. This past week has been a very emotionally trying week for me. I felt like I finally had been permanently demoted to the "formal in-law". Divorce is hard, but you not only lose a spouse or parent but sometimes people lose and entire family. I love all of my in-laws so much and I want them to know that I will always allow them to be apart of our lives. I am so thankful to my Heavenly Father for the blessings he has given me. I know that the Savior's atonement can heal and mend our homes and families as well allow for us to Repent. Have a blessed week.

2008-10-12T13:08:00.000-07:00

SEVEN on SUNDAY!

1. The past few weeks have been busy. One of my highlights was finishing up with the 2008 canning season!!!! WOOHOO another year down and food to last. I ended up doing spaghetti sauce after all and it turned out good. my kids are even eating it and that my friends is the crowning moment for me. for those who know how picky they are will agree.

2. another highlight was taking a few days off and going out of town. The first week in October we went to Blackfoot and visited family for a few days. Thanks guys for good food, good parties, and most of all good company. the kids had tons of fun playing with cousins again. they really miss them more than i though that they would.and of course i miss my sister's in-laws and our fun chats. these few days were also good for the kids because Brendan came up and visited with them for 2 of the 3 days. they hadn't seen him for a few weeks. it was sad for them to leave. so this was a GREAT start for our October. we also got to get pumpkins and one weighed almost 100pounds...good job to my nephew for growing good ones!

3. General conference was a AWESOME weekend. I loved hearing the new temples that were announced. The one most of all was the greater Kansas city , Mo one. Jackson county. what a fulfillment of prophecy. to know that things will go forward no matter how hard Satan fights. The talk I enjoyed the most (i had to work sat and sun night) was Pres Uchdorf's talk about hope. amid the trials it is really easy to lose hope and faith, what a great way to encourage us to HAVE HOPE and then will come FAITH to get us through the rough times. The other one that really hit home was pres. Monson's talk about change. some changes come over a gradual time period and some are sudden, but faith in our Savior will get us through any of these changes. I love conference and the filling of the spirit we receive.

4. laryngitis. well I have had laryngitis now for 8 days. I feel fine just no voice. I received a wonderful priesthood blessing with great counsel. for those who know me well know how hard it is for me not to be able to talk. but i also know I can strain my vocal cords too much. so until my voice returns i will just have to be patient.

5. work, school, and life are all going well. this past week I was able to go to Mackenzie's school with her(n i demanded my lunch hour and breaks so i could go) to see the science experiments the 4Th graders were working on. it was fun to have some alone time with her. boys are doing great and kyle is still enjoying joy school( rough this week since i had laryngitis and was my week to teach.)

6. Mackenzie turned nine yesterday. seems like yesterday she was born. it's hard to believe all the experiences she has had in 9 years. She is such a blessing to our little family. She helps me so MUCH, she's my right hand gal now. We had lots of fun on her birthday yesterday. Brendan came up and we took the kids to the Boise discovery center( they all ENJOYED it) and they didn't want to leave. then we had a little party with family after eating dinner at Golden corral. she got some fun things and her brothers really want to get into them. Thanks to all our family for helping make the past 2 weekends special for her birthday. i am attaching some pics of her birthday so enjoy.\

7. my spiritual thought for this addition. Life comes with many changes. All of our changes can provide learning experiences. it's how we choose to look at the experiences that will help strengthen our testimonies of our Savior. We came to earth to gain a body and have EXPERIENCES. I am so thankful for a loving Heavenly Father and a Savior who if we have Faith will carry our burden through our hard times and help us experience Joy. So let's enjoy the journey of life and help each other as the Savior helps us.

2008-09-21T15:24:00.000-07:00

SEVEN ON SUNDAY

1. okay here is the email address for Google sorry Tiff i realized that i have my old one for blogging and i can't view your blog:)

Jess_brendancox@hotmail.com. so if you would like to invite me to view your blog add this email address. thanks.

2. this week has been both stressful and rewarding all at the same time. the stress part was working last weekend and pulling a double/turn around shift on Monday. and Tuesday was hard to work. but wed and Thurs were enjoyable days off work. Thursday was kyle's fourth birthday and it was both a spiritual and emotional roller coaster. first kyle woke up in the morning and I sat up and asked how was my birthday boy and gave him a hug and kiss and he smiled. then he proceeded to ask if i remembered going camping with daddy this summer. i asked at Yellowstone and he said yes. then he said but daddy doesn't want to live with us anymore does he. as i was thinking he said but " mommy families are forever." it broke my heart and made me feel a great love for my boy who seems to understand this simple truth I have been trying to teach him. I was angry at Brendan all over again for not realizing the pain he has caused his own flesh and blood. needless to say it was my angry week. but I survived.

3. depressing week....sometimes I just miss having my "best friend" to talk to at night when the kids are asleep. I feel bad and so alone at night sometimes. I have a great SUPPORT system here and I would NOT survive without Nate and steph, but still at the end of the day I go home alone and everyone else goes on with their life. I took that all for granted i am sure. you don't realize how much you enjoyed those evenings after kids were put to bed and you had that alone time to just "talk". I am really doing fine just feeling lonely. this too will pass.

4. my dad had a chest x-ray and they found out that he did not have pneumonia but found a couple of masses instead. WHOA!!! well anyways he went to the pulmonologist and he seemed to not be too worried about the masses they are only 2 and 3 cm. I know prayers were heard on his behalf. just has to have scans every 3-4 mos to see if any changes occur. so once again miracles continue to happen in our life.

5.my in-laws(okay i still cannot bring myself to call them my ex and probably never will) came up this weekend for kyle's birthday and to see the grand kids. It was a great visit. I have grown to love Kim and Brenda dearly as if they were my second set of parents. they have given me numerous counsel that will Be eternal in its effect and have loved me unconditionally. KIM fixed my apple, corer, slicer....what a man! now apple pie filling won't be so excruciating to can this week. thanks guys for your help with fixing little things around the house and playing with the kids...also for helping me keep my temper in control:) we sure love them!

6. Brendan came up for the day on Saturday to celebrate kyle's birthday with us. Thanks to him for finding the "perfect" bike and sacrificing his time to come all the way up. We all had fun at chuckie cheese's and left with headaches. and of course we realized once again that i don't read maps well even if it is with a navigation system!!!! kyle got a new bike from mommy and daddy, transformers from gma and gpa and uncle wade, and a new helmet for his bike from uncle nana and aunt steph. it was fun and the dinosaur cake i made turned out half-way normal(kenzie kept telling me it looked like a cows head). so enjoy the pics of this FUN day.

7. Forgiveness. a lesson i keep learning over and over again. I guess Heavenly Father is trying to teach me how to forgive easier and let go of things i cannot change. this week has been full of small little insights and learning opportunities for me. with all of life changes we have made i sometimes get REALLY angry and it always seems to come when i think i have finally forgiven and let go so i can move on. I think of all the time my Heavenly Father forgives me and i often wonder why i can't be as forgiving. today the thought occurred to me that i am trying to become more righteous everyday, but it takes and eternity to become like our Heavenly Father. as long as I am striving each day to be better and realize without the Savior I cannot make it through this life or into the next then I am doing the best i can. so once again just do better each day and each day is a new beginning.

2008-09-14T08:57:00.000-07:00

Seven on Sunday
1. here is my 2 week update:) the high for the past two weeks is me cutting back at work so that I can see more of my children. I am now working 4 days a week which actually means I am now working 40 hours a week:) the kids and I have enjoyed more time together which leads to our number 2.

2. Labor day fun( i should have taken pictures). We went out to the church's orchard to pick peaches with Kimberli and Jonathon and Boys. It sure was COLD!!! but lots of fun. A teaching moment for the kids with the picking for the bishop's storehouse. they were able to serve in a way we don't get to very often for those in need of nourishment. This was our 2nd annual trip to the orchard. I think this will turn into a new family tradition. Thanks guys for all of your help!!!

3. Well since I had peaches I guess that meant more CANNING. I was able to can 39 quarts of peaches. this year With steph's help we did a marathon canning session and we even DICED them to fit more in our jars. Then I decided to branch out a little and i canned 10 quarts of peach pie filling and BOY is it YUMMY. Considering I really don't care for peach pies, I am excited for them now. I have officially caught the canning spirit since i tried something on my own new this year.

4. this next week since i now have my 2 bushels of apples, will be apple sauce and apple pie filling....YUMMY! I am so grateful that last year I HAD to learn to can for financial reasons and the Lord has blessed me bounteously this year. With all the changes, I was able to put away 6 quarts of peas, 18 bags of Zucchini(thanks dad cox), 15 bag of corn(thanks to a funeral home who decided our facility needed to be thanked for all our hard work or in my opinion for providing them lots of business!!!), carrots, 8 pints of salsa , peaches, and apples(sauce and pie filling). so with the blessing of my garden and early harvest and the love of others my canning and freezing season has been bounteous.

5. Mackenzie was chosen for honor choir at school and is involved in the Buddy program, it allows older kids to help the first graders. Her teacher called me last week and we talked about her situation and she said Mackenzie is such a loving student and very intelligent. she explained that only honor students our allowed to do the buddy program. I am so grateful for Mackenzie and the BIG help she has been these past few months.

6. Boys, this week was my week to teach joy school. The boys both loved learning about the joy of our bodies. kyle LOVES joy school and his new friends. brevan enjoyed being allowed to be at school last week and is also enjoying the alone time he gets with mommy twice a week now. it's nice to be able to get the kids involved and enjoy most of the things we did when i was a full-time mommy.

7. prayers are HEARD and ANSWERED. Once again I have gained a stronger testimony of prayer. yesterday i had my sitter cancel and I called 9 different people and I couldn't find anyone for the kids. It was stake conference so most of the youth and adults were busy. So I said a prayer and asked Heavenly Father to please help me find someone. I went to work and the kids were at home. I didn't want steph to have to miss conference. She called around and after 9 people found a laurel who could come. She was awesome. this laurel doesn't have a job and is willing to watch my kids several days now. It may seem like a small thing childcare but as a single mom it is IMPORTANT so that i can work. The Lord new my need and found a way to provide for me and for my future needs. So when our faith is about to waiver it seems he provides a faith building experience. and like the scriptures say he is aware of all creatures, and how much he loves us as His sons and daughters. have a great week

2008-08-31T20:25:00.000-07:00

my email address for tiff and anyone else who needs it to add me to their private blogs....hint hint
jesscox98@cableone.net

2008-08-30T18:58:00.000-07:00

SEVEN on Saturday(this week)

1. the last 2 weeks have been CRAZY!!!!! Mackenzie started the 4th grade. I cannot believe how grown up she has become this summer. She is such a Great help to me. She loves her teacher and hasn't had a problem adjusting to yet another new school. i think she's use to it now:) She loves riding the bus again and spending time at the park with friends. it's only a few houses away. I am sure she will do great in school this year. She got a blessing from my brother for school, Thanks NATE!

2. Got involved with a Joy school group. I am doing joy school again, with Kyle. I did this program with Mackenzie and it was wonderful. Kyle is excited about starting "school" too. The moms got most of the stuff put together last week for this semester that begins next week. So I am just getting busier. It will be fun for kyle and me to have time together and away(brevan will get some one on one time with mommy now). wish us luck.

3. Brevan gashed his eyebrow area opened on the bath tub faucet. looked pretty nast but has healed up nicely. thanks to SUPER GLUE, and Jonathon for sharing that little secret with me last fall!

4. work....I worked 73 hours this past week and I am worn out. I am enjoying this weekend off...YEA!!!!

5. New car....so i bought a new van on thursday this week. I worked out a great deal on a chrysler town and country. 14,500/ almost a 5k drop. leather, dvd, nav system, power doors and trunk, stow and go, luggage rack, and much more. mackenzie is loving not being squished between her brothers anymore. I also got a great interest rate. it's a 2005 with 48k miles and an 8%. i would have gotten the normal; 6.5 if i would have been at my res or job longer. oh well. we will travel better now. Brendan is taking the Saturn now.

6. life is great at work.....We were held hostage on our special care/pysch unit on wed for 1 1/2 hours by a patient. wouldn't let anyone in or out of the locked doors. he was about 6'3" and 260 pounds. he bnack handed me and kicked my aid. it was almost humorous. Our DON and social worker had to climb the 6 1/2 ft privacy fence to get into the unit. the SW fell down the fence while clinbing over. this was all taking place right before dinner. They had me tossing cookies to the pt's wc from 5 ft away(should have seen it) the don is laughing her head off at how ridiculous I looked, but she wouldn't come within 20ft of the man. We almost had to get the dinner trays from the fence being handed over. it all worked out and he got sent out. I didn't get home until midnight that night. work is never dull!!! but i do enjoy my job. I am cutting back to 4 days a week this next month so I can see my kids more especially kenzie.

7. Quote my sister-in-law sent me

"When those trials are not consequences of your disobedience, they are evidencethat the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more. He therefore gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding, and compassion which polishyou for our everlasting benefit. To get you from where you are to where He wants you to be requires a lot of stretching, and that generally entails discomfort and pain." Richard G. Scott

have a GREAT WEEK

2008-08-14T22:30:00.000-07:00

Seven On Sunday(or Thursday)

1. I got a new hair cut last week, my way of doing something for myself. I have to thanks Brendan:) for all my stress, I have lost 14 pounds. I have been trying to lose 10 for a year now!

2. The divorce was final yesterday. Brendan was here visiting the kids and

it was a lot harder on me than I ever imagined. I guess you cannot turn love and emotions off especially after 10 years. We are still great friends which helps the kids a lot to not be in the middle of conflict.

3. Mackenzie is finally registered for school that starts on Wednesday!! man I was cutting it close:)

4. Kyle is going to be involved with Joy School this year. I did this preschool with christian based beliefs in Texas with Mackenzie and we loved it. So hopefully he will enjoy this too.

5. Work, is as crazy as ever, but I love it. I have been averaging between 45 and 60 hours a week. So, I gave my DON my part-time schedule for next month....32 hrs one week and 24 the next. this way I will actually be able to see Mackenzie with school starting and me still working swings.

6. Brendan is doing well in Pocatello.. he started working 12 hr night shift. He is coming around a lot and is actually being a big help with finances and watching kids for me. I hope he knows how much he is loved and appreciated. He has so many wonderful qualities and I pray for him to one day be able to beat his addiction. Here's to my best friend still:)

7. Faith- without faith nothing works. I have learned to rely on faith so much the past 6 weeks. and I have seen the Tender Mercies of the Lord in my life on a daily basis. the faith and prayers of others has given me the strength to endure trials and has helped me carry and let go of my burdens. thanks to you all especially family for your love and support. Hopefully I can start up my seven on Sunday again next week. Until then remember the Faith!

2008-07-29T22:35:00.000-07:00

Seven on Sunday(Tuesday this week)
1. I am FINALLY all unpacked even the toys that were left in boxes in the garage have been unpacked and downsized:)!!!!!

2.I have to brag on my Niece Spring. She has started her own candle company in hopes to be successful to the point that her family for generations to come can enjoy being a stay at home mom with the benefits of working from home how often they want. She has such high goals and standard and I am proud of all her hard work and effort. I am in charge of training our reps to teach home shows about our different candle lines. Go SPRINGY!!!

3. Family reunion.....day 1 Friday. me and the kids left at 9 am on Friday to go down to Blackfoot for a family reunion. The trip started out late and the kids screamed for most of the 4 hour drive. The DVD player pooped out on the way there, and being poor I couldn't buy another one. When we arrived we had to stop at the bannock county sheriff's so Brendan could be officially served with the divorce papers. It was a little odd doing it the way we did, but we got it done. Then we went to Blackfoot and enjoyed some lunch by my gracious sister-in-law Kimberli. The kids had so much playing with their cousins who they miss very much. Friday night we had some DELICIOUS dutch oven chicken and potatoes at uncle Craig's my kids even ate it that's how great it tasted. so it started off fun for the reunion.

4. Saturday day at the lake. The kids had so much fun at the lakes on the hot dog and boat. Brevan's first ride and he laughed the whole time. I am glad I was there to experience it with him. Kyle liked the boating much better this year. Kenzie got back on the hot dog and didn't get hurt. I enjoyed the tube until I flew 6 feet in the air and hit my face on the tube on the way back down. I have a nice bruise on my chin now. But it was all worth it to have so much fun with my kids. Saturday night talent show went great. Kyle sang I love to see the temple all by himself. It was so adorable. He laughed for a while before he actually sang into the microphone. It was a great day.

5. Harvesting my garden. well the new tenant in our house is a creep. so we harvested all my garden on Monday. we brought all the tomatoes here to ripen, got about a 100lbs of potatoes, some peas, carrots, and loads of onions. a few peppers too. it will do fine. I am going to get corn from my in-laws this fall. so we will have a good supply and I should be able to do at least one batch of spaghetti sauce and salsa.

6. Confusion. so everyone was totally confused by Brendan this past weekend. Me i never read anything into what he does anymore. He waltzes right into the reunion and acts like there isn't anything going on between us and the kids best friend. I know we still talk, but not about anything with substance. He wants to be friends and a dad on his terms. How selfish. do i still love him, well after 10 years you can't just shut it all off, but it has definitely changed in many ways. I wish he would one day realize what he is losing. Maybe he just doesn't think he has lost anything since he can still talk to us at his convenience. We'll see how long he stays in contact with us as time goes by. I pray for the kids sake he does.

7. The divorce is suppose to be final the end of this week or beginning of next. All the paperwork is finally there. thanks to me......and trying to make everything easy. I am so greatful for my Savior Jesus Christ. I just finished a book called, the Peacegiver by Ferrell. It opened up the atonement and gave me new insights. All I can say is that I am at peace with my life and know that the Lord is opening so many doors for me and blessings are coming in great abundance. So thanks for all the prayers on our behalf. until Sunday remember that Kindness begins with yourself:)

2008-07-20T15:10:00.000-07:00

SEVEN on SUNDAY

1. The highlight of my week was my weekend off work!!!! the last 2 days have been relaxing with the kiddos.

2. This week I started my full-time job and a long-term care facility. I was supposed to be trained for a week and then on my own. Friday night another nurse called in and I got threw into charge nurse of my unit. I have 28 pt's and 4 aids. 16 of the 28 pts have either Alzheimer's or schizophrenia. so I am around lots of craziness. Makes me almost think I am sane:) The job keeps me busy for 8 1/2 hours. If only I didn't have to eat at the nurse's station I'd be happy.

3. The landlord of our old house told Brendan that we could still work in the garden and get our produce. that will be another great blessing for us. Thanks to my gracious sister-in-laws for all their hard work....and the nephews for shelling peas, and brothers for tilling. you are all SOOOO fabulous. I love you all.

4. Mackenzie and Kyle had a primary activity this week for pioneer day. they had so much fun making homemade ice cream and playing pioneer games. I took Brevan with me to run errands and we had fun too!!! i decided that once a month me and the kids one at a time have a time out by ourselves to help with all the changes.

5. so i got the divorce papers signed back from Brendan yesterday. so i will file with he courts tomorrow and it should be finalized by this week.:(

6. I have the best ward up here. today i had to take the boys out for a "talking" too. i mean a one way talking:). i sent kyle back in and when brevan and i returned kyle wasn't there. an older lady behind us had him and her and her daughter were coloring with him. how awesome is that. I appreciate it more than words can ever say.

7. my lesson learned this week: Life throws us all sorts of twists and turns. It's how well we stay on the path during the sharp curves that determines the outcome. I know that as long as I hold on with both hands to the iron rod those twist and turns will one day straighten out. Thanks again for all the love and support you all have given. I talked to a good friend of mine in Louisiana this( a baptist) and the insights we both gained was amazing. I know the Lord is watching out for my little family. until next week....Jess

2008-07-13T21:10:00.000-07:00

Seven on SUNDAY returns!

1.okay can I just say I HATE the GI bugs!!!!!!on Thursday this week Kyle woke up at 0330 vomiting and it went on about every 20-30 minutes until 0800 then about every 45 min until 1100. Then the diarrhea started. WE just had all of this CRAP 2 1/2 weeks ago. Now I am just praying that the rest of us don't get it.

2. Mackenzie has met several lil friends already. She went swimming On wed until 2200. I must be a bad mother to let my kid stay out that late at 8 years old!!! She had tons of fun. It was at our hp group leader's house he has a 35 foot pool that 4 1/2 feet deep. He invited the boys to come over tomorrow. Mackenzie also went to Activity day here this week. She loves all the girls here and they are quickly becoming good friends.

3. Park. The greatest thing about our house is that there is a park 2 doors down. It's as close as it was in Monterrey. I can see it out my front window. So Mackenzie can take the boys down there for 15 minutes and then come back.

4. Tramp. THANK YOU THANK YOU to my big brother who graciously put up the tramp for the kids on Saturday when it was 97 degrees outside with no shade. He was such a trooper. He and his wife Stephanie have been wonderful with this move and a great support system.

5. In- LAWS....I LOVE ALL OF THEM!!!! I have the greatest extended family ever. even if it was by marrying Brendan. I couldn't have a better support system anywhere else in the world. I just want them to know how much I love and appreciate them all.

6. Brendan....Well for those who don't know( I know it has been going back and forth), But tomorrow I am filing for a divorce. He came up this weekend for drill and visited with the kids a little while on Saturday and today. He gave such mixed feelings that I just didn't know what to do. Tonight he called me back and said that he didn't love me the way a husband should love a wife and I wasn't a priority to him. He doesn't want the responsibility of being an everyday father either. So Brendan if you read this the best thing I can do for someone I LOVE so much is to say GOOD-BYE. I hope that his one night stands and handy dandy computer will give him the fulfillment he is looking for. I am sad for the kids because they love him so much, But they deserve a father who wants to be with them everyday and gets excited when they run up to them to play and not always annoyed with them. Please keep him in your prayers and hopefully something tragic will happen to help him realize what he has lost.

7. I am so blessed with many things. The most important is my testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ and the power of the Atonement. I didn't realize an important aspect of the atonement until the past few years...the power of healing are hearts. I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for allowing his Son to suffer for me . I know Christ would do it all again just FOR ME. I know my prayers are heard and helps me get through each day. I am blessed with 3 of the greatest kids ever. I love them so much and pray that they can adjust to all of these changes....me going back to school and work. I am blessed with great friends and family. I love you all and cannot thank you enough for your love and support. so this is seven on Sunday and can't wait to see what next week will bring.....until then Jess

2008-07-06T17:06:00.000-07:00

so we are moved into our new house here in nampa, id. the kids are excited to be in a subdivision with LOTS of other kiddos to play with. Just a little info...we are not getting a divorce(atleast right now). Brendan has a LONG way to go for recovery and we will take it a step at a time and see where he is in a year. I do know that the atonement is real and that he is not "cast off'''. We love him and pray for a ALMA like experience. He is my best friend and my heart aches for his addictions. anyone interested in sexual addictions and recover can go to lds.org; provident living; social and emotional; addiction recovery. there are articles about this that is inspired from our Heavenly Father. I will begin my seven on Sunday again soon:)!!!!

2008-06-29T19:29:00.000-07:00

SEVEN ON SUNDAY

Well there is TOO much to write for only seven, so this will be a condensed version. Me and the kids are moving to the Boise area and Brendan will be in Pocatello(for those wondering the same thing just a different day and I am done). So for those we are leaving behind you will be greatly missed. I just pray that Mackenzie will adjust to yet another change in her life. I love Brendan with all my heart and soul, but until he wants his family to be an eternal one again and can love only one wife this is the end for us. I hope he one day will realize what he has lost to sin and will see himself the way I and Heavenly Father see him, as a son of a loving Father in Heaven. Once we get settled I will post a more updated blog, Until then We love you and will miss our loved ones greatly, Jess

2008-06-22T10:38:00.000-07:00

The clan at mesa falls. isn't it just beautiful!

the cousins at old faithful
the cox family at old faithful
the grand canyon of yellowstone

the cox fam at mesa falls

the wolf gang
mackenzie as a wolf in red riding hood
this buffalo was literally arms reach of our window

old faithful is still faithful in the fact that it still errupts high!!!!

yellowstone and mesa falls pictures

2008-06-22T09:31:00.001-07:00

Seven On Sunday
1. Okay so I am 2 weeks behind! ARGH!!! First I'll give a quick recap of 2 weeks ago. On Monday June 9, Kenzie tried out for the children's play again this year- red riding hood. She made the tryouts which meant a week of long rehearsals for her and me. She was a good sport and loved doing the play again this year. The weeks ended on Saturday June 14th with Brendan coming home after 16 days(WOOOHOOOO!!!!) and being able to see kenzie's star performance. He missed her play last year. so this week was busy with running here and there, and trying to stay busy so being alone wasn't so lonely:). I did make curtains, clean baseboards, stove fridge, and reorganize all the bedrooms and storage room. So i wasn't lonely at All. Plus it was so nice to have it all done for when brendan came home. i always save my "spring cleaning" for when he is gone.

2. Sunday june15th. Happy Father's Day to all the dads in my life. First to my wonderful husband. "Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a daddy." anne geddes
He is truly a wonderful daddy, and the kids were so EXCITED to have him come home. Especially kyle. He knew that when daddy came home we'd be going camping! and that's what he expected. Brendan has learned to be a great dad from his own father. to my father-in-law who is a great father to us all. He know how to love unconditionally and gives chastisement in a way that is so loving that you almost forget what the talk is all about. To my DADDY. Who has always been my hero. I love him dearly and wish he lived closer. He is the one who taught me how to forgive other so quickly. He taught me it takes more energy to be angry than to just let go. So on this father's day I honor all the dads in my life. I love you ALL!!!

3. June 15th---Brendan's birthday party. Brendan always seems to gone on his birthday so we end up celebrating it on father's day too. He received some fun things for our Yellowstone camping trip. a new stove, lantern, and an axe(for chopping wood). Happy Birthday to my best friend, my partner in crime, my dear husband. I love you so very much and hope one day you will realize how much you mean to me. thanks for all of your hard work and being willing to sacrifice so much so that I can stay home with our 3 beautiful kiddos. You are the best and even after 10 years, I am still smitten when I look at you and my heart still flutters. Happy 32nd birthday Honey!

4. Monday June 16th--pack and lave for Yellowstone. why is it when you think you have all the lists you could possibly need for a camping trip you still fall behind schedule? I thought I was so good had everything packed by 1pm since we wanted to leave at 3, so I go on a short 3 miler run thinking I have all the time in the world to get ready after my run, then I had a vision in the hot sun...i forgot to pack all of our food!!!! GREAT...now we will be late or starve for 3 days. So i sped up my comfortable 10min/mile pace to a 9 min/mile and got a huge cramp at the end and still had to hurry and shower so I could pack our food. Way to go on being prepared. I did have it all ready by 3 after all, but with the cost of it being a pony tail hair day:) It was worth it. we got to the camp around seven got camp set up and dinner done all before 8:30pm. The kids were in bed by 10 and we were ready for our park adventure bright and early Tuesday morning. Thanks again to Brendan for my early morning run on Tuesday. we had a couple of killer hills and he patiently waited with me to make it up the hill. I felt like Casey Jr trucking up the track. we did see a herd of antelope on our run.

5. ILLNESS hits in the park. Brendan got hit with a GI bug while touring yellowstone. I first thought he was being overly sensitive about being ill, but at 8pm when kyle started puking all over the car...I knew it was bad for them both. Kyle ended up puking most of the night and Brendan felt better Wednesday afternoon. On Wednesday we toured mesa falls just north of rexburg( i couldn't believe I was the only who had ever been there in our group, and that was 10 years ago at ricks). It was infested with mosquitoes and even with bug spray we were attacked, even the poor little dogs. I have to say this trip was lots of fun. i forget how beautiful our world is until i am back in nature. the kids all did great with all the walking we did.(pictures will come at the end)

6. softball game on Thursday. Well last week I had a parent get upset with me at the game. My assistant coach thought she over reacted majorly and intervened on my behalf. Well this week her 2 girls weren't at the game. So I am assuming she pulled them from the team. i think it is horrible that parents cause problems for their kids and don't allow them to enjoy things. it's pretty pathetic that some people can't seem to outgrow the drama. It left our team short on players. oh well I hope they come back.

7. Pocatello trip turned into a puking fest. Me and went to pocatello to play with my friend Tina and her kids on Friday. It was lots of fun catching up and just letting the kids play. We went to craigos, a ricks favorite, for some pizza. All of my kids seemed fine. On the way home Mackenzie said her tummy hurt, about a minute later she asked me to pull over. As soon as i put the car in park...she exploded everywhere. Then kyle puked because he saw her puking. So here adds another 2 loads of laundry to the list. Then this morning at 330 brevan woke up puking. Now I know Brendan was really sick. Hopefully I miss it. I finally have my car cleaned and it almost doesn't smell of puke. Anyways, we have had a busy couple of weeks and have enjoyed being a family and our mini vacation. so until next week, have a wonderful week and enjoy the warm weather.

2008-06-08T07:12:00.001-07:00

This week on Seven on Sunday....................

1. SCHOOL"S OUT!!!! after a long week of helping out with the end of the year projects and play time, it's finally over. Mackenzie had such a great teacher this year, Miss Miskin. She was voted by the other teachers as Groveland's teacher of the year!!! We are so proud of Mackenzie and her accomplishments in school this year. She received the honor roll all year. In order to do receive the award a student has to have all A's and no more than one B. Mackenzie maintained straight A's this year!!! Good Job LOU LOU BEAR:) She also had more than 200 AR points for the year. AR is a reading program where the child reads a book and then takes a test to receive points.

2. Our first softball game. This summer I am coaching softball. The first game was one Thursday. The team made a double play. They were all able to hit the ball too. Mackenzie did a great job. She played third base and catcher. I am glad she is enjoying one of my favorite sports!Mackenzie before her first softball game of the season.

3. The highlight of my week was our short trip to SLC for a friends sealing in the temple. It was so awesome to see Trent and Tina sealed together, and amazing as they brought little Zander to be sealed to them. Mackenzie had fun playing with Makenna and Alexis. they are long time friends. It's cute to see them play so well.

pictures: 1. Trent, Tina, and Zander after being sealed. 2. Makenna, Mackenzie, and Alexis having fun playing. 3. The COLE family on this blessed day!!!!! 4. The infamous group photo op!

4. After SLC we went to Kamas to see cousins. It was so wonderful of my sister-in-law to let us crash at their place for the night. My kids really loved being able to play with their Utah cousin because they don't get to very often. Kyle kept saying all evening he wanted to go back to Toby's house! Thanks Min and Jer we sure do love you guys. Pictures: 1. Kyle and her new favorite buddy Toby. 2. Grandma and some grand kids

5. A Special thanks to my mother-in-law for going down with me to Utah. It was so nice to know that the kids were in good hands and I could enjoy the Temple. She was a good sport since it took a lot longer for the sealing( an hour and a half behind schedule). She also took some adorable pictures of the kids.

6. SURVIVING- So I have to say this past week had FLOWN by so fast. With Brendan gone time usually crawls by so SLOW!!! I am grateful I was so busy this week. He will be home in 6 DAYS!!!! I realized once again how much a NEED him. He is my best friend and I really miss having him to talk to when he's gone. the phone just isn't the same. The kids have been so good which has made it easier. they really miss daddy though. It has reminded once again why the Lord has the family dynamics set the way they are. without a dad and mom things just don't work as well. So Brendan I LOVE YOU! and appreciate all you do for our family:)

7. Well life is just grand.........except for Kyle won't quit asking,"are we going camping today?" He is so excited to go to Yellowstone and go camping that he is beside himself. I am excited as well. these cheap memories cannot be made any other way. Some of my greatest memories have to do with outdoor activities such as camping. So in 8 days we head up to Yellowstone for a few days. So until next week keep the faith and remember life is hard so that we can become our best selves.

2008-06-01T18:35:00.000-07:00

Tagged
Stephanie tagged me...

4 Movies I could watch over and over (how about favorites instead......)
1-sweet home alabama
2-the notebook
3-The Bourne serries
4-Charlie

4Jobs I've Had
1-Home health nurse
2-Family Child Care Provider
3-Grocery store supervisor
4-Market researcher...western watts!

4 Places I've lived
1-Idaho
2-California
3-Pennsylvania
4. Texas
5. Maryland
6. Indiana

4 Foods I love
1-Pizza
2-Ice Cream
3-Homemade wheat bread with strawberry freezer jam
4-Pancakes

4 Favorite TV shows
1-house
2-american idol
3-biggest loser
4-svu, law and order

4 Websites I Visit Daily
1-hotmail to check email
2-blogs...mine and friends
3-iccu, bank
4. msn weather(we don't have local channels)

4 Places I've Vacationed
1-Disneyland
2-Korea
3-yellowstone
4-d.c, gettysburg....most of the civil war places on the east coast

4 Places I'd Rather Be Right Now
1-pennsylvania
2-hawaii
3-california
4-anywhere with Brendan alone!!!!

4 Friends I'm Tagging Now
1-Melissa
2-Jeanie
3-summer
4-tif

2008-06-01T08:47:00.000-07:00

Seven On Sunday

1. Brendan and Kyle's conversation...

Kyle,"Hey buddy" Brendan, "hey dude!" Kyle, "daddy you are my buddy and friend."

Now how can you not smile as a almost 4 year old realizes that his daddy is not only his buddy but also a friend. I am so glad that Brendan is the kind of father that his children know that he loves them and is their friend. I love you HONEY!

2. Another tribute to a dear friend who has remained one of my bestest friends even though we are oceans apart and helped me through some of the toughest trials in my life. This is to Melodie Hanners who is now living in Germany and her dear husband Morgan is gone a lot with work. She just had her 4th baby and is amazing at how she can be a mother and father quite frequently. Her husband Morgan has got to be the kindest man I have ever met. He treats his wife and children like precious gems and even though he is gone a lot you he makes up for that when he is home. This family is wonderful and I really miss our trips to the temple, chuckie cheese's, and our late night parties in Cali. Thanks guys for loving us despite it all. Maybe the next time you come to Utah we can all get together. I am sure Mackenzie would love to see her old boy friend Braedan.!

1. Melodie and Morgan in Maryland a few days after Morgan returned from his deployment to Iraq. It was so nice to see them again.

2. Mackenzie and Braedan enjoying the fall leaves that I miss now that we live in Idaho. Braedan has always been Mackenzie's boyfriend since the were 2:)

3. The Hanners Family before baby Grayson was born

4. Baby Gray their fourth baby born in April.

We love and Miss you guys

3. Gardening is one of my new finds. I didn't ever think I'd enjoy it, but after last year(my first time) I have really come to like it. Even the weeding, because it gives me alone time and is a good source to relieve stress. Now my sister is doing her first garden this year in Indiana. You never know who may catch the gardening fever...go KRIS!

4. Husbands/fathers.....

Brendan left on Friday for 16 days for his annual training with the national guard. You don't realize how much you depend on you husband and the kids on their father until they are gone. Yesterday I realized that Brendan really is my best friend, the person I love doing anything with. Seeing others interact with "friends" and feeling alone...I longed to have Brendan with me. I also realized how much I miss our dear friends who are oceans apart or rivers between. Friends are something to treasure. Brendan and my dear friends...you always have a place in my heart.

5. To another dear friend...Tina Cole(cottle, carter). She and Trent are getting sealed in the SLC temple on Friday after waiting for this day. I am so excited for her. Trent treats her so good and she deserves to have this day. So Tina this is for all you have had to go through, know that I admire your desire to some out on top of all the trials.

6. Camping. So we decided this summer we would do lots of camping as a family since it's cheap and build loving memories. Our first adventure will be in 2 weeks to Yellowstone with my brother and his family. We decided this would be a great reunion with Brendan. Well when I made the reservations the lady made the comment about how soon june was and that the snow still hadn't melted. So I HOPE it will be warmer in 2 weeks:)!!!! Well was next to me when I made the reservations and has been asking at least 3 times a day if we can go camping now. So here is to building and strengthening family ties.

7. Coaching softball. Well I am taking on a new adventure of coaching softball. I did it in high school. our first practice went well and we will have our first game this Thursday. it is fun to help children learn new things. Especially ones that I love! BTW we got the dance tryouts results back. Mackenzie will be reevaluated after summer to see if she has developed her technique well enough. I am proud of her any way considering she hasn't been like most of the girls in dance since she was 3. SO GO MACKENZIE!

Have a great week!

2008-05-25T08:34:00.000-07:00

okay so I am stealing another Idea from a friend(okay em it's you again!). Blogging can become overwhelming but I love it! Since I found a site that will print it for a minimal fee with pictures, I don't feel quite as bad about not keeping my journal as good as I should. And scrap booking is 4 years behind and with blogging I get to kill 2 birds with one stone. so I am only going to blog once a week....Sundays. It will be called seven on Sunday. so here it goes....

SEVEN on SUNDAY

1. The beginning of may Brendan had drill up in wilder(past Boise). We stay with my brother in Caldwell each month and it's lots of fun....except for the kids start fighting by Saturday afternoon! Darn girls just get along. So we decided this month that on Saturday evening we would have our monthly family date. Especially since there is more to do in the Boise area than Blackfoot. We took the kiddos to Chuckie Cheese's. It was Brevan's first trip and they all had tons of fun. Okay so did mom and dad. here are a few pictures from that trip.

2. Brendan finally fixed the camera for me so I can up load them onto the computer. So here are the pictures of the pooh Mackenzie played in(aka garden fertilizer) a few weeks back.

3. So is it Spring yet? It snowed 2 weeks ago and left a small accumulation. Here is our back yard on May 7.

4. Brendan is finished with this semester of school and is leaving on Friday for 16 days...it's his national guard annual training. I should be used to it by now, but I still hate it when he's gone from home. Even after being apart for a year while on active duty, two weeks still stinks. So I will probably be a grouch for a few weeks now.

5.I was totally bummed that David Archuleta didn't win the AI Finale. David Cook is the best alternative for me. I have to say I wasn't as faithful this year as I have been in the past. We use to turn our phone off on the evenings of American Idol. This year we just hoped to catch the quick playback. Oh well there's always next year.

6. Brendan gets to chooses a new work schedule this week. I will be so excited to have him able to come back to church after a LONG year with 3 kids by myself during Sacrament.

7. So My sucky Idaho attitude is back and I don't know how to get rid of it permanently. The weather hasn't helped. this past year has been AWFUL, but after marriage counseling, a good job that actually pays the bills, no house on the market, and kids getting older I am looking forward to this summer. The hard thing for us is in the past with each new move brought a new set of friends. This time we moved into an area that seems to not allow newcomers into their circles. I am fine with having family as my friends, but I do miss all my dear friends from the past 7 years. I am going be the PTA VP this year and there seems to be a lot of neat people so hopefully we'll make some friends here. If not we only have about 2 more years. On a positive not....our ward is nice. people our friendly...I just wish we had people who had a similar personality as Brendan and I. Oh well i need to get off of my soap box and be more optimistic. oh yea...mackenzie tried out for a dance team. we are still waiting for the results. it's harder for me than her. she has a good attitude that she'll try again. as a mom you hate to see your kids not succeed at something they really want to try. so next week I'll let you know what comes of the tryouts. have a great week.

2008-05-19T07:40:00.000-07:00

So I am stilling this idea from another friend's blog. It's about honoring our friends who seem to be miraculous. Since my dearest friends have finally joined the world of blogging I am dedicating this blog to them, Ben and Jeanie Miller of Pennsylvania soon to be Kansas. They are a Army family and he is going to be deployed to Iraq this Fall. What is so amazing about this couple is how they can conquer all Together. They know how to have fun with life no matter what comes there way. You will never meet more devoted parents either. Don't mess with there kids or you will feel the wrath of Mr. Ben! (also you better treat Jeanie with the respect she deserves or you don't want to be around Ben:)) This family is wonderful and full of optimism. When I thought I was dumb for running my first 5K who was there to support me in spirit....none other than the Millers. When my husband has been a bone head who still understands why I Love him so much....my Jeanie. So hear is a tribute to some of the greatest friends I have and ones that I miss dearly....those late night karoke parties were the Best. Now I just hope they read this!!!! Love you guys and good Luck with the move.

Pictures: 1. Kyle and little Olivia holding hands at Codorus. They were the Best of friends! 2. Josh, Kelley, and Mackenzie loved playing together. Truth be known Kenzie kissed Josh once! 3. Jeanie and Olivia 4th of July soon after we all moved from Maryland to Pennsylvania. Those were the good ol' days 4.Ben encouraging Brendan to pick up a Boulder at the lake. Man those men sure turned into boys when they got together, fun times! 5. The kids at 6 flags near DC with the super heroes. Jeanie helped me big time on this trip. I was 2 weeks from delivering Brevan and Ben told her to make sure I took care of myself on the very hot day! and she did...made sure I was well hydrated.

Once again here's to the fabulous five...the Millers!!!!

2008-05-12T07:20:00.001-07:00

Once again I HATE Viruses!!!! Brevan woke up Friday morning with Croup. Usually not a big deal for me to deal with when one of the kids get this particular virus. I thought great we need to go out this morning to the breakfast with momat Mackenzie's school the cool air will do him GOOD. Needless to say he progressively declined throughout the day. Brevan spiked a fever of 104.3 and started the high pitch wheezing, or stryder as we in the medical field say, and he had severe retracting in his abdominal region and nasal flaring. THe poor kid was in respiratory distress. We got him to the clinic at 4:30. The doctor(a Moron, I won't tell you who it is) comes in and says, "Oh it looks like he's not breathing very well!" I wanted to slap the man and say DUH! By the end of our 3 hour visit of temp, albuterol treatments, Pedia pred(a steroid) and x-rays, it was decided since he wasn't improving like he should and was still in distress that he needed to be hospitalized. So we took him to Bingham Memorial( I know megan not the best:)). The respiratory therapist was AWESOME! He started the epi treatments immediately. Thanks to my Wonderful Brother-in-law with all of his connections that got us treated so well at the hospital. After no SLEEP and lots of steroids Brevan was able to come home on Saturday. He is doing much better, Especially considering his O2 sats got down to 89% . So now we are playing catchup on sleep. But hey we are home and enjoying each other. Thanks also for the Power of the Priesthood that I know helped Brevan recover so quickly. Thanks for all of the support. We love you all. Mackenzie and Kyle were so cute when Brevan came home, they were both excited to see him home. Man I love my kids and it makes me happy to see my kids love each other so much. Have a Great Day.

2008-05-09T07:51:00.000-07:00

For all of the Mothers who can understand the following. A friend of mine sent this to me in honor of Mother's Day. It is SO TRUE! Have a Happy Mother's Day to all the mother's in our lives. I will do an updated blog when we are all well again.

BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy. 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible. 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes._____________________________________________________ Preparing for the Birth:1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing. 3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.______________________________________________________ The Layette :1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau. 2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains. 3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?______________________________________________________ Worries: 1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby. 2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn. 3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing. ______________________________________________________ Pacifier: 1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it. 2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle. 3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.______________________________________________________ Diapering: 1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not. 2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed. 3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees. ______________________________________________________Activities: 1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour. 2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner. ______________________________________________________Going Out: 1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times. 2nd baby : Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached. 3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood. ______________________________________________________ At Home:1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking or hitting the baby 3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children. ______________________________________________________ Swallowing Coins:1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child ! to the hospital and demand x-rays. 2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass. 3rd child: When third child swallows a coin, you deduct it from his allowance! ______________________________________________________

2008-04-24T13:36:00.000-07:00

So this blog is dedicated to my wonderful in-laws, especially my father-in-law. The phrase"taking crap " from someone literally applies in this case. I literally took 2 loads of "CRAP" from my father-in-law yesterday!!! We had such a great first time garden last year that we decided to make a LARGE one this year and do a market in our parking lot. So to ensure a great crop we got some organic fertilizer from my in-laws. They were both GREAT help with the tilling, raking, shoveling, and spreading the fertilizer. I am so grateful for the help and resources from our loving family that has helped me gain a desire and almost a love of gardening. Now ask me in 6 months if I am still enjoying the garden! I hope you enjoy seeing the pile of left over poo and the size of our spot. You might even see the snow flakes that are coming down so beautifully this fine spring day! Oh one funny thing happened yesterday....mackenzie went outside to play and brought all these wonderful big rocks for me to see. I just laughed like a crazy women and explained they were not rocks they were hard piles of cow poo! She was so grossed out. Kyle went ahead and informed her that he and brevan got to play in poo today! So for those who thought I was a city girl....I am not beyond messing around and getting dirty. It's almost fun. That is one of the things that won my hubby's heart....I can dress up and be feminine, but I am not afraid of dirt. Okay so my camera is being dumb and I can't get the pictures. I will have them later. ARGH!!!!!!!

2008-04-21T07:39:00.000-07:00

VIRUSES!!!!YUCK....So I have officially decided that my kids have been sicker since moving back to Idaho than their entire life, ARGH!! We came home from church yesterday and
Kyle kept saying how tired he was., and for Kyle who hasn't napped for about 9 months it was unusual. So I checked his temperature( and Kyle NEVER runs a temp) and it was 103.3! So I have been dosing him with Tylenol and Motrin. He seems better this morning, but still has a temp. So I am making an educated guess as a Nurse that he has some virus.

On a more positive note we are going to plant our peas, carrots, onion and Lettuce this weekend when it's suppose to be 60 degrees again. So after fretting about never getting my garden planted, I realized it will only be a couple weeks later than last year:) We (Mackenzie) wants to do a farmer's market, so we have about an acre tilled for our garden. My fear is that she will get tired and I'll end up doing it! We'll see. Anyways have a great week and enjoy the sunshine!

2008-04-20T07:41:00.000-07:00

SNOW!!! is in the forecast again for this fabulous Spring day! It has actually been a good few days of warmth and sunshine. We were able to get our garden tilled up yesterday (BTW we quadrupled our garden size this year i think). Now we get to rake the massive thing this week so that we can fertilize later this next week. I love gardening and I am sure I'll learn tolike it even in the snow:) My kids have enjoyed a good 5 days on the last 2 weeks of playing outside and enjoying mother nature. The more I think about life the more I am convinced that attitude is 90% of it all and the other 10% is FAITH. As I was listening this morning to Glen Rossin(SP) about a young mother who lost her husband at a young age to cancer and was HAPPY, I realized that no matter our situation how awful it may seem through The Atonement of our Saviour we can be Happy. So Bring on the Spring snow and let's have fun and Get to work.

Kids say the darnest things: Brevan was having a little argument with Kyle this week about words. They were watching Kipper a dog show on PBS and Kyle kept saying that they were watching Cartoons and Brevan would say no watching doggie. This went on for a few minutes while I could regain some composure and settle it without laughing. So I go in there and tell Kyle that they are both right. He looked up and said how can we both be right? So I tried in simple toddler language to explain. Finally brevan says Kyle wight as only he can say.....so the moral of the Story was that the older sibling in my house is always right....even if both of them can be right at the same time. It will work well I guess as they get older....doubtful! anyways have a great week.

2008-04-03T09:12:00.000-07:00

So I was complaining to my husband earlier this week about Spring NEVER coming to SE Idaho this year. He the wonderful man he is reminded me how much I hated the unusually hot summer we had and couldn't wait for it to cool off. So I decided to change my attitude and go ahead as if it weren't 30 degrees outside and do some spring yard work yesterday. I bundled me cute little boys up and trimmed trees and bushed with the trimmer and they used (kid friendly of course) scissors to trim weeds:). Brendan called in the middle of it all and asked what we were doing and he laughed because it was currently snowing in Pocatello:) So what me and the boys were able to do was clean out the flower beds and tree trimming activities and even some garden CLEANUP! for 2 hours . It was lots of fun watching the boys try to carry the limbs to the burn pile ...especially those from the rose bushes(Kyle discovered the thorns...OUCH!). So the lesson I learned is it's all about the ATTITUDE in life that makes the journey enjoyable. So thanks to my loving husband for reminding me how to enjoy the journey and bring the kids along for the ride! BTW my daisies and bleeding hearts are looking great now that I can actually see them!

2008-04-01T17:28:00.000-07:00

Well about 2 weeks ago Mackenzie and I had the privilege of watching our cat Tiger Lilly give birth to 6 baby kittens, of which all have survived! I was talking to a good friend of mine who was in early stages of labor with her 5th, and the cat climbed on me with something coming out. I screamed not realizing at first what in the heck was going on. My dear friend starts laughing at me and says, "Jess she having her babies and she might need some help." I say she's not having them on my LAP! The cat waited until kenz got home so she could see it happen. It was a little fascinating to see how long it takes and what she does after each one is delivered. All I can say is I am glad I am Human and don't eat the stuff off my newborns. The funny thing is that morning on the radio they were talking about the battle of the Sexes and Mackenzie laughs the silly laugh that kids get with the word sex. Then she realized they were talking about boys versus girls. So when she saw the kittens being born it was a while new topic about how she was born! We've had to have the simplified version of the "Talk", but this was more than I bargained for. So I told her what I felt was age appropriate. So when do we tell them the "Whole Thing?" I told her a while ago only about female related stuff, but the other keeps coming up and I have to tell it a little at a time. anyways any advice? so here are the pictures of delivery!!!!

2008-04-01T17:12:00.000-07:00

We absolutely love to celebrate Easter. We have all the fun traditions of decorating the Easter eggs just so we can have colored deviled eggs for dinner, the egg hunts, and of course the Easter baskets full of JUNK, that ends up in the garbage 6 months later! Most importantly we love to celebrate the Resurrection of our Savior Jesus Christ and the importance of the Atonement in our family's life. As we contemplate the endless love our Heavenly Father must have for each one of us, We remember that Christ would have suffered it all again even for just One person. We hope that you enjoyed the holiday and seeing our family fun!

Kyle and Brevan(if you look closely you can see princess our dog) enjoy coloring eggs and off course the mess that comes with it. Brevan kept trying to let princess eat the eggs!

Brendan of course LOVES the Easter egg coloring activity, and since he missed out last year, we made SURE he had plenty of Fun. You have Mackenzie in the background concentrating hard on the task at hand. She likes her art to be perfect! And there's no Jess because who would capture the FUN!

Mackenzie wakes up to find her Easter goodies with the help of princess. She got a Webkinz and has loved it ever since.

Kyle has wanted an airplane for months now and wal-mart had them for 3 bucks! So he was EXCITED for his Easter airplane.

Brevan is still not sure why there was Easter stuff on the table for him. He just looked around and started playing like nothing was new. He still loves to make us all laugh.

Hope you enjoyed sharing in part of our holiday.

2008-03-28T08:45:00.000-07:00

So I am now teaching the 11 year old primary class at church(since jan) and I am amazed at how much they are teaching me!. Sunday was Easter and we of course were talking baout about Jesus Christ and his Resurrection. A child in my class asked me why when he visited the nephites and his apostles in Jerusalem were the nail marks still present if when you are resurrected your body was to be perfect. HOLY COW!!!! what a deep question and one I had never thought about. This is one of those times that I am SOOOO thankful for the Holy Ghost and its influence in my life. It occurred to me that when the scriptures talk about our perfect form in body at resurrection it's the body that makes US perfect. The scars of the nail prints are what makes Jesus Christ perfect, they are the scars of the Atonement and without them none of us could be made perfect. So He has to have them in his perfected and resurrected form to show us the scars of perfection. Of course I told the class this in a simplified form, but later easter night Brendan and I were talking and I told him about this experience. He said, "WOW, Jess taht is deep!" For him the philosophical geniuos that he is to say that I thought of something deep was a compliment. So think about your life and think of the scars that will make us perfect...Those of our Savior and what he endured for us. This is what Easter is truly about. Have a great weekend, and I'll have a family easter post later when I get the pics downloaded.

2008-03-20T12:40:00.000-07:00

Okay so Mackenzie has been tagged. Here are five things you may or may not know about her.
1. She was born on her Ubcle Mic's birthday(19th) oct. 11th while he was in the MTC and Blessed on our 1st anniversary oct 17th.
2. She has been to a foreign country and loves to look at her passport(went to korea while brendan was deployed there for the army for a year).
3. She loves to read and is so excited to have 125 AR points this year( the AR program is new for us so she had to get used to it).
4. She had a head full of CURLY hair until I chopped it off at 3 and she still cries when it gets done...ARGH!
5. She has lived in in 6 states and attended 4 different elementary schools in her short not quite 4 years of school.
one last thing...she is the greatest daughter and big sister ever. without her help I wouldn't get through most days with my hair intact. With brendan working full time at the prison and going to school full-time she has stepped up. hopefully i am not totally messing the poor girl up.
so here is Mackenzie Kay Cox

we tag eli and syd cox, milam boys, and josh groft...of course anyone else who would like to can.

2008-03-14T12:03:00.000-07:00

Okay here it is for Kyle. Kyle Wayne Cox was born on September 18, 2004 in Bethesda, Md at the Naval Hospital. He is the stereotypical military conception; daddy was on a hardship tour in Korea and came home for almost a month and you know the rest....nine months later we were blessed with our 9lb 1oz baby Kyle. Kyle was one of those very large babies that is so adorable because he was so chubby. All I can say is I don't think he's gained a whole lot of weight since his one year well baby that was 2 1/2 years ago! Kyle was the happiest baby (after the first 2 months of nap fighting). He has brought so much joy into our lives. As he has grown his personality has developed into a fun loving little boy who absolutely loves to be silly and make people laugh. Sometimes he even reminds me of his uncle Sean which is a little scary!!!!(my brother is 32 and still hasn't matured much beyond 3:)) Kyle fell in love with cars at a very young age and has helped his little brother love them too. Kyle also loves to play football, which shouldn't be too surprising considering who his father is. The thing we try to teach kyle about football and his little brother is that it has to be touch and not tackle. He hasn't quite got the hang of 2 hand touch and not 2 hand push. Kyle has impressed me so much with his intelligence. he can count to 20, knows most of the shapes and can most of the time say all the alphabet(lmop has turned into animal pee with the help of his father), and he loves to "read" books. If only we could get him interested in potty training at 3 1/2...ARGH! Kyle now has chores and every Saturday morning he will ask if it's chore time yet. His chore is to dust and brevan likes to help him too. I just hope this love of chores lasts beyond 4. Kyle is so much like his daddy it drives me crazy sometimes. People who knew Brendan at this age tell me how much he's like him and especially how much he resembles Brendan in appearance. He is finally enjoying primary after 2 VERY LONG months of fighting going to class on Sundays. He loves to sing the primary songs and a new song called apologize that is very popular right now. He'll come up and tell me that "it's too late to apologize, it's too late." We love Kyle so very much and the joy he adds to our little family. I hope those of you who haven't got a chance to meet him yet can someday...even if it means us taking some vacations! hope you enjoy the intro of Kyle......BTW sorry about the pictures. the boys were helping and posted them before i actually had them arranged correctly:)

2008-03-14T06:36:00.000-07:00

okay I am going to post kyle in two parts: First photos of his life

from birth until present and second i will tell you about my sweet boy.

Starting from the bottom going up

the first three rows are from kyle's first year. from the time he was born until he turned 1 and had his first farm"cake".

then we have him with all his curls and then his second and third birthdays. enjoy his pictures of the first 3 years of total JOY!

2008-03-12T12:51:00.000-07:00

okay just so you all know we are finally healthy again. After the flu and my ear drum rupturing, we okay I am healthy again. So far no one else has gotten sick. I do have a need...How do I get my 20 mos to eat? Brevan is on a food strike I think. Right now he's averaging one good meal a day and some healthy snacks. I am stick about the eating schedule every 3 hours. If they don't eat they have to wait until the next eating time. But with him still young sometimes he's just so honory because he's hungry. I was leaving it one the table and figured when he was hungry he'd eat. that ended up keeping him eating all day long! Kyle never went through this phase so I guess I havew forgotten. any advice would be appreciated. kyle's profile is coming soon!
Have a great end of the week!

2008-03-04T14:42:00.000-08:00

Okay so I am a big wuss. I went back to the doctor for a follow up from a bunch of other stuff. It was great timing since I was sick to. So I have a case of influenza, but because I didn't go within the first 48 hours there was nothing he could do that I wasn't already doing. The thing I really am hating is that I have so much drainage in my eustation tubes(ear) that my equilibrium is a tad bit off. ARGGG!!!! and I can't hear out of my right ear. oh well I am fine just a whimp. It sucks when you only get sick once a year because it seems worse than it is. I am just hoping the rest of the family doesn't get it. Just FYI for those of you who got the Influenza vaccine this year.... It doe NOT work against the strain this year. So YOU can still get the virus. That is why I never get it. As a nurse working I was suppose to, but too many people got sick from the vaccine that I didn't want to chance it. plus the vaccine is always based on the previous year's strain. anyways have a great week, Jess

2008-03-04T06:27:00.001-08:00

Well here it is march and I haven't posted in a couple of weeks. I still need to introduce the other 2 kiddos. That will happen later. We went out of town this past wednesday for 5 days. I ended up with what I thought was a bad chest cold, turned into a horrible case of laryngitis and then a stupid sinus junk. needless to say I have not been this sick in years. I had a doc apt already scheduled for today so i did't worry until yestrday evening when my right ear started hurting and felt like it was going to implode. my wonderful husband came home from class a little early and went to wal-mart anbd found some good earche relief. I am still going to the doctor today. Just hoping my kids don't get the crap. Hope you all have a wonderful alomst spring week.

2008-02-19T15:42:00.000-08:00

Okay so my wonderful husband asked me what I really wanted to my birthday this year. I told him to get my hair done. So on my birthday in January he gave me a card with my appointment written in it. What a sweetheart. So today I got my birthday present. Brendan's cousin's wife has her own shop in blackfoot(bridge street Image) and is forever busy becuase she is SOOOO good. I told her what I wanted in Jessicanese hoping she understood. It turned out better than I thought. So here is a picture of my birthday present. THANKS again honey. I love you. oh BTW brendan also got to watch the boys for 3 hours so i could go get it done. it took forever because my hair was past my shoulders and it's extremely THICK. Have a great week!

2008-02-15T09:51:00.000-08:00

Brevan Charles Cox....playing in the snow before church(we have afternoon churc h this year) He reminds us of the little kid from christmas story in this snowsuit. So I am stealing the idea from a friend, I would like to introduce and/or update you on Brevan Charles Cox. Brevan is almost 20 months now. He is full of energy and is our little mischevious guy. He was born on July 1, 2006. He came into this world rather quickly and with lots of joy. For those who don't know, we barely made it to the hospital. From the time our car arrived and the time he was born was 20 minutes! He has been such a joyous addition to our family. He absolutely LOVES cars and his bear bear. The other kids have blankies that they are attached to, He has a bear. He plays well with others and has developed his own mind at his young age. If he doesn't want to do something he will sit down and become DEAD weight. He has a temper....IE if you tell him to get out of the kitchen sink, He will stand in the middle of the floor and stomp his feet rather quickly and scream. It's hard not to laugh, but I gently take him to the couch and he will stop his fit. He will then proceed to fold his arms and puff up his lips. It's rather cute, but we don't let him see our amusement. Brevan also loves to torment his older siblings. He sits on kyle or will touch something of his just to hear him scream. He takes a toy from kenzie and will run away laughing as she chases him screaming. Such a tease. With all of his personality has to offer, we know this little guy will accomplish whatever his mind is set to in life. We his parents wereshocked to find out he was coming to our family so soon after kyle, but we know he was meant to come when he did. OUr lives have been richly blessed by this little spit fire of a personality and he will bless the lives of many others. So this is Brevan. Enjoy a few photos of his life up to this point.(R-L))
1. Just after he was born with mom.
2. Daddy changing the first diaper
3. Brevan, Kyle, and Mackenzie welcome home baby B

4. Brevan on his Blessing day
5.dad and baby napping
6. The Cox family on Brev's blessing day(3weeks old)
7.mackenzie and brevan(months old)
8.Brevan chilling out at 3 mos

9.kyle and brevan after bath time

10.happy baby(he really was always) at 4 mos

11.brevan is ready for christmas sunday at 6 mos

12. brevan at 8 months after his first cross country move eating an oreo!

13. Brevan turns 1!

2008-02-14T06:45:00.000-08:00

Okay so I am not this total romantic person, but today my husband had surprised us all and had v-day gifts laying out for us when we woke up. What a sweetheart. Then a friend sent me this email containing a video about a man who had pretty much felt worthless, and then one day he was told how wonderful he was. In the video you can see how his countenance changes. I think as women we have this profound effect on the men in our lives, and we need to let them know that they are of great worth and build them up and not down. I love brendan so very much and know that we can be together forever. We have built a beautiful life together and I am thankful everyday for the life we share together. SO hug and kiss those you love especially today. I attached the video. Have a great day!

http://www.maniacworld.com/Phone-Salesman-Amazes-Crowd.html

2008-02-12T14:07:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I am blogging the day and life of Jessica just so I can try to lessen my business by getting feedback on how to cut down on daily things! So this is how my day goes. I get up at 7 am m-f to get Mackenzie up and ready for school. We have to be out the door by 7:50 so she's not late. That means from 7 a. until 7:55 a I have to do her hair, pack a lunch, get breakfast for her, and if the boys are up Get diapers changed and a cartoon (oh yea and their drinks) on so I can get kenzie ready. I pack them up and we are out the door for school. Then from 8-9 I get the boys dressed, Check all my computer stuff(bank account, emails, blogs, and news), read my scriptures and play referee once in a while. From about 9-9:30 me and the boys eat breakfast. After breakfast until 10, I do my daily house cleaning chores. I am very anal about this time and what gets done. I have list of what will get done during these 30 minutes...I.E. mondays it's clean the bathroom , start the kids laundry, and make my bed. After 10 the day is pretty relaxed until 3pm when kenzie gets home from school. When she gets home she (we) has homework, chore(she has one everyday), snack and finish up the kids laundry and think about dinner. Kyle no longer takes naps so I have found things from daycare i use to use to keep him busy with his homework. Brendan is gone late on mon and tues so I get all the evening chores with the kids too. I also work out 60 -90 minutes m-sat, volunteer un thurs at school, have library day, playdates, and brendan is off on tues and wed so entertainment days. Plus i am our family accountant, nurse, house cleaner, launderer, grocery buyer...you know "moms". I now regret ever asking my mom growing up what she did all day long. It's amazing what us moms can accomplish in a few hours each day. It's hard work and some days I am ( as I am sure many of you are too) just plain exhausted when are husbands come home and want that "alone" time with us. How do you get it all done is usually Brendan's question to me.....Well it's like this you JUST DO IT! there's not a lot of tv watching, cross stitching(like I do that...i hate it), sewing, scrapbooking...you know just relaxing. So I think I need to tidbits on how to do it all and have relaxing time. I feel bad cause brendan is so busy and is gone alot again, but sometimes I need mor ethan just exercising for my down time, but what? Anhyways I am just rambling out my incoherent thoughts. I have enclosed a few pictures of other things us moms do on top of our daily tasks:) Have a great day!

Take cute pictures of our dear children!

Kyle in November

planning that perfect birthday party. Mackenzie's 8th birthday

Cleaning up those unexpected messes,and then capturing them on camera. So you can ENJOY them much LATER!

fdcBrevan letting me know he was finished with breakfast!

2008-02-11T07:41:00.000-08:00

So the last few days have been filled with sickness in our house. On wednesday of last week, I couldn't find Kyle. I went downstairs to the family room, a found hime curled up in a corner with a pillow and blancket sound a sleep at 4:30 pm. I laughed at his ability to make his own pallet. It was so cute. I was a littlke scared he wouldn't sleep taht night, but he did. Then thursday he wouldn't eat and started running a fever. In kyle's case a fever is never good, Because HE never runs one even when he had strep last year. So i was a little worried and called my brother-in-law who is almost a NP. He brought over a strep test for kyle, and sure enough he tested positive for strep. Friday we were suppose to go to boise for brendan's monthly drill, but he was able to get out of it. That evening kyle feel alseep and i figured he's slep all night since he was so sick. NOPE he woke up at 10pm, and didn't go back to sleep until 4 am. I was SOOOO tired but managed. It was niced to have brendan home for the wekend and go to church with us after months of not having hime due to work. Kyle is feeling tons better(at least better enough to be honory). Iam so thankful for my dear husband who took vacation to help me out and for kensie being a big help for brevan. It proves once again that we all have important family roles. i love my little family so much. Have a great week.

2008-02-11T07:16:00.000-08:00

So I usually don't do these anymore, but this is for my dear sister-in-law melissa. I have been tagged.

A:The rules of the game are posted at the beginning.
B: Each player answers the questions about themselves.
C: At the end of the post, the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

What were you doing 10 years ago?
fEB 10, 1998...I was taking the semester off from Ricks and probably going through one of the worse events of my life.....Rape counseling...I am okay about it now that it's been 10 years!

5 things on my list today:1. Clean the bathroom
2. wash the kids laundry
3. Make a few phone calls
4. work out(did I mention I was training for a hlf-marathon the end of april)
5. Bathe the kids.

5 snacks that I enjoy:
1. Jello pudding snacks with reddi whip(yummy)
2. SF jello with r eddi whip
3. carrots and ranch
4. Crackers
5.fresh fruits and Veggies

3 bad habits:
1.picking the skin around my fingers when they crack which is always since moving to idaho!
2. Being anal about cleaning days(what gets cleaned when )
3. Repeating myself at least 3 times before it clicks that I've already asked or said this before

If I were suddenly a billionaire:I would pay all of our debts off. Then I would pay off all of our families debt off, then food storage for everyone! Then I would finally take that cruise to the bahamas with brendan alone!!!

5 places I've lived:
1. Blackfoot, Id
2.Hanover, Pa
3. Ft. Meade, MD(near Balt/DC)
4. Bicknell, In
5.San Angelo, TX
6. Sorry there's more.....Monterey, Ca
7. Rexburg, Id

5 jobs I've had:1. Stay at home mom (by far my hardest)
2.Nurse for a pediatric home health agency in maryland
3. Family Child Care provider in california liscensed by the good ol' US army!
4. preschool teacher in rexburg.
5. shift manager at mcdonalds(yuck!)

5 things people don't know about me:
1. I have 2 sisters named LISA!.
2. I used to be a girl scout!(me too melissa)
3. I kissed brendan first when I was somewhat engaged to a real jerk(a non member who I never intended on marrying).
4. I broke off an engagement from the SLC airport....all for my new love Brendan!
5. I had my gull bladder removed at the young age of 17 and have it on video!

People I'm tagging whoever reads the post and feels inclined to follow suit!

2008-02-07T15:21:00.000-08:00

So do you all want to know what a dimwit I am....Last friday school was canceled and I din't even have a clue. I took Kenz to school and she asked, "mom why are there cars here?" Of course I said we just took a nice ride. LOL then today my mother-in-law called to let me know school was closed again, but guess what I was already gone. ARGHHHH! So the moral of the story is that Idaho schools have no consistencies with school closings! Or I need to be more aware. This whole thing of Brendan working FT and in school FT is making me feel like I am running around with my brain half gone(maybe I really am!)
So Kyle finally pooped in the toilet this past week, but just one..hey atleast it's a start even if it's a slow one! He is getting so big and maybe one day his good personlity will help him actually stay in primary! if only...that would be too easy for mom on sundays if he'd stay.
Brevan is now 19mos old, and it's nice to not be thinking about a new baby like i was when kyle was this age. He is alot more independent than kyle was and sure likes to talk and we can actually understand it!! what a miracle considering the other 2 were over 2 before we understood. anyways we are doing great and enjoying life again that things have slowed down emotionally. Have a great weekend and for all the idahoans....enjoy the snow and WIND, jess

2008-02-01T18:03:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to let everyone know that my sister-in-law sent me this awesome tribute video to Pres. Hinkley and I posted it at the bottom of our family blog. Be prepared to have some tissues ready. Enjoy and thanks Melissa.

2008-01-31T09:29:00.000-08:00

Holy Cow! I cannot believe first that it is 2008 and second the the first month January is almost over. This week has taught me a lot about relationships and love for others. I want all my family and friends to know that I love and care about you no matter what may happen in life. This past Sunday, President Gordon B. Hinkley died at age 97, he was the Prophet of the LDS church. I have been thinking about what the last decade and a half have been like with him as our Prophet. The church has grown in so many ways and member and people around the world have been blessed by his love and wit. The counsel to stand a little taller, be a little kinder, and do a little more is one of my favorites. I know if we ALL did a little more than society would be a little kinder and a lot less crazy. I am attaching one of my favorite photos of him kissing Sister Hinkley's coffin. I am sure there was a happy reunion between them in heaven. President Hinkley will be greatly missed by the world, but I know we will have another prophet that I will sustain and we all will grow to love. Have a great Day!

2008-01-26T10:30:00.000-08:00

So, I am writing this blog a bit aggitated. I had a family member post a blog about cheating/adultery. I know that many people on society believe it is a new sin and one that is nor forgivable. We know that it has been around since the beginning of time. It the new testament, A women "taken in adultery" was brought to Christ to be judged according to the law. The law stated she must be stoned. The pharisees that brought her wanted Jesus to cast stones, but instead he said, "woman where are tine accussors?" This He asked after stating, "he without sin cast the first stone." I have learned over the past few years the reality and miracle of the Atonement and forgiveness. I have known several cases where families could have been completely destroyed by sin if there wasn't an understanding that the Atonement is for the sinner and those whose hearts need mending. Society says that those who support adulterers are weak and allowing themselves to be abused emotionally. I SAY they are some of the strongest peoplein this world and if society had more people willing to forgive others we just might not be where we are today regarding morals and family relatinships! So I say yes to supporting families staying together no matter what. All families are worth the hard work that it will take to become an etrnal family. For those who think that when someone commits a sin that it is about the other...YOU are wrong. Most cases it's selfishness and lovingyour spouse isn't even a factor. Youcan read in most health journals that adultery in today's society has a lot to do with the rapid growth of Pornography and it addictive results on those involved. Like addictions the addict has to realize there is a problem before there can be resolve to fix the issues. I love the gospel of Jesus Christ that teaches all men that no one can make it through this life without the Atonement and recognizing our reliance upon it to recieve forgiveness no matter how small or large our sins may be. I love my little family so much. My children help me understand everyday the concept of unconditional love. My husband is so dear to my heart and is definitely my BEST FRIEND. remember none of us our perfect and let's not cast that first stone.
\have a great day!

2008-01-22T17:28:00.000-08:00

So Brevan has been our little firecracker since he was conceived. He came in with a boom and still lets everyone know he is around. His new favorite thing to do is wear the big shoes in the house. This is him wearing his daddy's. He's got quite the shoes to fill:)! Another one of his things he does alot is sign and talk. I tried with him to sign when he was about 7 mos because kyle through tantrums for a year because we couldn't communicate well. Well I didn't think Brevan ver got it. now that he can talk he signs all those words that I tried teaching him a year ago. I guess he caught on after all!

Kyle is our little Betty Crocker. He loves to help make and bake things. As you can tell he's all ready to make those cookies daddy promised! He is the best big brother ever. I keep telling him he better be nice to Brev because he just might grow up to be bigger like daddy and his older brother.

This is what I couldn't wait for when I first learned shortly after kyle was 1 that I was pregnant again. @ kids close in age but the bestest buds in the world. They play so well together. When brev can't find kyle or he wakes up before kyle(which is everyday almost) he says, "where kyle go...sounds like while go?) So finally I am glad that they were close in age!

2008-01-19T08:59:00.000-08:00

So we survived Brendan's first week back to school after seven years. I say we because he has a couple of pretty late nights and that means the kids don't seeat all on Mondays and very little on tues-thurs, but it's what we need to do for a few years until he gets his masters finished in counseling. I am getting use to the late nights again. That's the way it had been several months until October, so we'll see if I handle it as well as before. At least now Brendan and I are on the same page concerning family andour responsibilites. Mackenzie ws so funny on Sunday. She asked Brendan, "Are you nervous about your first day of school daddy?" I had to laugh because if you could see him pacing around it was very noticeable that he was definitely a tad bit worried. The fact that she even noticed was proof how evident it was. I 'm sure he'll be fine once het gets into the swing of things. So wish him luck!

2008-01-15T15:22:00.000-08:00

Okay here I finally have the picture of the Rexburg Temple uploaded! Are family was able to go to the open house where anyone of any faith is able to go through the temple before is dedicated. Once a temple is dedicated only member with a worthiness reccomend are able to enter. So we took this opportunity to take our three children to see what a temple looks like on the "inside" and why it is so important to mommy and daddy. This picture was taken at the top of the hill and as you can see it was snowing. it was absolutely beautiful inside and out. As we toured the inside of the temple the kids were able to see the forever mirrors(mirrors are placed directly opposite so you can see"forever"). mackenzie was so impresses and understood the importance of a forever family and marriage. She said, "I want to get married in the temple so it will be forever like the mirrors." what a sweet spirit she has. The boys like the oxen or as they said "no they are
cows mom." It was such a spiritual event for our little family to experience. Especially after the past few horrible months. It gave us a glimpse into eternity and what we are really striving for...a covenant marriage not a contractual one. We really do want a forever family and all the joy and sorrow that comes from enduring this life "together". hope you all enjoy the pictures. Especially steph ballard. We would have gotten a family picture, but the rexburg wind was TOO cold!. have a great day.

2008-01-13T07:55:00.000-08:00

So our little family had this wonderful faith building experience. Last weekend we had to go up past Boise(300 miles) for Brendan's drill weekend. We took Princess(our dog) with us, but left the cat(tiger lilly) at home. Since she is an inside cat and we have no problems with messes in the house we didn't feel it would be a problem. As we were loading the car she escaped and climbed a tree. She loves playing outside but she climbed a 200 foot tree and wouldn't come down. So I was mad and put her food, litter box, and bed in the garage. I decided she could sleep in there for the weekend and teach her a lesson. wemleft the garage opened about 2 feet so she could slip in and out as she wanted. She has been gone all night before and always came back. When we got home Sunday night, she wasn't here and never came back Monday morning. Needless to say Mackenzie was very upset that her cat was gone and mad at mom for making her stay outside. I told her to say a prayer and maybe Heavenly Father would help her come home soon. Thursday Kenz asked when I was going to put up pictures of her(I had no planned on doing that). She said that she prayed and she had a dream that tiger liily came home. I told her if she wasn't back by saturday we should give up and put away the cat stuff. I was actually happy not having the litter box inside! Saturday morning came around and it was chore time so I had her put it all away. She said, "this doesn't mean that I am giving up mom. Heavenly Father showed me a dream that she came home." Well guess what...Last night(sauturday) When we got home from our date guess who came in right behind us. That's right. the stinky tiger lilly. It made us all realize that God is aware of us and all the things we need no matter how trivial they may seems to others. My little 8 yr old showed me that faith can open doors for miracles. Most cats don't come back after a few days let alone a week. I know that our prayers are heard and answered in the Lord's time.

picture of mackenzie after she got tiger lilly last april.

2008-01-09T06:35:00.000-08:00

Okay this is the family picture I really wanted to show for New Year's where we are actually smiling and not being silly!

The kids have already used the aprons several times as well as the spoons(the spoons haven't always been used for mixing a lot of sword fighting).

So my In -laws wanted to do a live nativity this year with the grandchildren. Mackeznie was Mary, Kyle was a Shepard, Brevan was a wiseman, and Brendan was the Donkey!

this picture is of the shepard riding the donkey...I don't think that was really part of the nativity story, but Kyle made it a part this year!

This is a picture of the wiseman visiting the Christ-child. Brevan was too busy trying to play with the baby to actually listen to the account told.

this is a picture of Princess with her santa present....a Bone abd it was gone in 2 hours. She is still a active part of our family and we love her the same. Even though she chased the cat up the tree a few times over the holidays.

We hope you all have a great 2008. We have some pictures of the new Rexburg temple. We went to the open house last night as a family and had lots of fun. I'll give more details when I post the pictures of this once on a lifetime oppurtunity for our kids.

Have a Great DAY, Jess

2008-01-03T06:27:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year from the Cox's! Jusrt wanted to wish everyone a great in 2008. We have had a wonderful season full of holday celebrations with loved ones. To be honest we are definitely glad they are over and we are getting back to our normal family routine. Mackenzie was glad to go back to school yesterday and see her friends. The boys did miss her and kept asking where she was. This is a family picture of our wonderful familu aprons that were made by my mother-in-law for Christmas. The kids LOVED them!.

Kyle and Brevan got the playschool's crash and go car set from santa. It has been the gift of the year for them and daddy! Brevan didn't have any problems this year learning the art of unwrapping gifts. kyle taught him well!
I received this beautiful
bracelet from my Brendan santa. It was a beautiful Christmas this year!
Brendan got a little saw from the kids. Kyle just couldn't keep from telling him what it was. He did keep it quiet for 2 days:).

After a long night of trying to keep mom and dad up, mackenzie ws finally able to open presents. She even puked the night before from too much chocolate at g-ma's house. She loves her little pet shop gift and so do the boys!

We hope that you all had a wonderful holiday season and are getting back into the swing of things. I know that our 2007 wasa horrible year for us as a family*(couple) and as individuals emotionally. I know the healing power of the Atonement is real and that in 2008 we will have many miracles happen in our little family. We love and miss all of of friends and the family that isn't near.

2007-12-27T10:34:00.000-08:00

The kids are finally enjoying the snow in Idaho. This is the field we have out back. They love the snow! not the COLD

Brevan reminds me of the little boy in A Christmas Story. He can atleast get up if he falls down!

Brevan loves to mimick the dog. He spilled his milk just so he could lick it up like the dog!

Brendan is such a good sport to let the boys paint on him for art time. The boys really like to paint.

the boys snuck into the brownies. I had to take a picture so I wouldn't beat them:) They both said Cheese.

I am so happy to be a mom. We all went sledding yesterday. It was SOO much fun. It gave me a glimpse into eternity. Watching Brendan playing with our kids and his nephews, gave me a view of how important a family is. I once heard a statement that the only thing that is iportant are those things that last...an ETERNAL family. We love you all! We had a great christmas. The kids all loved what they recieved. I have to thank our SECRET!! santa for the LOVE he gave our family. Without you there would have been no Christmas this year. You know who you are and WE LOVE YOU!!! Have a great day and we hope to have Christmas pictures up soon.

2007-12-24T09:40:00.000-08:00

Well It's been 2 weeks since I have updated our family blog. A lot has been going on. Brendan and I finished out couples counseling with LDS family services this last week after 6 sessions. OUr counselor said he couldn't do anymore for us and reminded us of the things we learned through counseling. I have to say I think every married couple could at some time or another benefit from counseling. Especially if you are a family with any amount of distance separation. I learned a lot from counseling about myself and how to better communicate with my wonderful husband. I love him so dearly and pray for him evreryday that he can overcome the obstacles that are coming his way!

Okay now for the other updates. There are pictures here of the children at brendan's NG unit's Christmas party with santa. It was lots of fun, but it made me REALLY miss active duty. We hope you all have a great Christmas and a Happy New Year. Oh btw brendan is FINALLY registered fir classes next semester at ISU in Pocatello. He is getting his masters in counseling(go figure). I guess we all need to help others after we get helped!

Kyle and santa-He really did get his cars from "SANTA"

Mackenzie and Santa

Brevan and Santa--"okay mom and dad who is this hairy guy?"

Brevan and mommy posing for a fun picture while daddy and kyle make cookies!

Daddy and Kyle after making som YUMMY chocolate chip cookies. They sure dudn't last very long! Darnit

Once again Merry Christmas from the Cox's

2007-12-10T12:07:00.000-08:00

I can't believe that it is December and only 15 days until Christmas! Last weekend we went to Wilder, Id for Brendan's National Guard unit's Christmas party and Santa came. Kyle got up on Santa's lap and said he wanted a race car track and a race car for Christmas(that's all he's been talking about for a month). Well Santa gave him his present and Kyle's first reaction was "IT"S NOT A RACE CAR!" before he even opened it up. After opening it up he found a 10 pack of hotwheels....and that MADE his day. He oes believe in SANTA.

Brevan was next to see santa and he was given a stuffed animal...he was not happy he wanted Kyle's cars. About 10 minutes later the Santa realized he had given brevan another real baby boy's gift to him. So Brevan ended up with hot wheels too. All Ican say is I really didn't want 20 more hotwheels added to our collection.

Mackenzie still believes and was excited to tell Santa what she wanted. She is so easy to please and doesn;t ask for a lot. She got some polly pockets there and was completely happy to play with them all the way home 350 miles...ARGH!
I will post some holiday pictures this week.
Oh yea brendan and 2 of his family members sang in a double quartet last night at the stake Christmas music fireside. They has sang last week at the community music thing. They sound AWESOME. it was so cool and upbeat music. I can't remember the names of the songs...baby born in bethlehem and good news i think.
Have a great week, Jess

2007-11-29T14:48:00.000-08:00

Dog food....so brendan has a younger brother that use to always eat dog food and puke up his other food on demand. So I am trying to figure out why it's MY kids that do these crazy things. Brevan's new thing to eat and then tell us all it's yummy is DOG FOOD. and we all know how well my two older childen puke on demand, so mic can you help explain genetics to me and why your children don't do these crazy things that you did? Do I get blessedto have all the cox traits in MY children:) No brevan really did about make me vomit today when he came to give me a kiss and all I smelled was the dog food in his mouth, and his sweet little voice said, "Ummy mommy Ummy!". anyways just a little tid bit about my sweet children

mackenzie came home from school today all excited about her upcoming Christmas program at school. So I asked her if it was a holiday program. She told me quite frankly," no mom it's a Christmas program. Not a holiday like in Pennsylvania. Our school lets us celebrate Christmas." How funny is that. Finally a school that's not so set on being politically nice to everyone.

Another milestone....Kyle finally went pee in the potty!!!!! I have been trying for months and nothing....ever! brevan has peed in the toilet more often than Kyle. Maybe he will finally want to quit wearing a diaper at almost 3 1/2. Mackenzie was SOOO easy and this has been a nightmare for me. He is such his father's son. if it isn't his idea it's not gonna happen until he thinks of it...ARGH!! he is such a sweet boy, just independent which will be a great tool as he gets older.

Have a great day....Jess

2007-11-29T10:41:00.000-08:00

Okay, my dear husband Brendan has frequently brought it to my attention that I have major grammar issues with this wonderful blog. So for those of you who are annoyed by my mistakes, I apologize. Come on men have you ever tried typing one of these with one kid on you lap and the other hanging onto your elbow also trying to help type? If not then you have no IDEA how difficult it is. So, Brendan my love Please be patient with this blog thing.
Now for my personal faults on not being as good with a budget as I need to be. I have learned a lot this past year about being THRIFTY. People use to think I was, but I have learned even more ways to cut and save. I now get EXCITED about the grocery ads. I look to see what is on sale and what can I stick up on now for our food storage. Like buying a box of cereal for 80 cents and buying 20 at that time(use those coupons women). I was always this way with buying clothes and toys, but now even my food is on sale or I don't buy it. I also am not afraid of free things. We have just been given a set of bunkbeds for our boys. Now I get to give away kyle's twin bed that was also given to us to someone else. How fun is itto get free stuff and then be able to give someone else something they NEED. all this has taught me alot about pride and humility. I hope that one day I canbe a humble person and not so wrapped up in material things. Have a great Weekend.
We love you all, The cox's(JESS)

2007-11-26T08:55:00.000-08:00

This time of the year always causes me to reflect on all the wonderful BLESSINGS I have in my life. The greatest is my testimony of the Atonement of Our Savior Jesu Christ. The Atonement plays the most important role in our lives. Because of the Sacrifice of Christ we can live as eternal families and have the ability to repent of our sins and forgive others. I am grateful for the Book of Mormon and the knowledge it contains for our time. I am very grateful for my little family as well as our extended family members. My children are so precious and as a mother you pray that you can teach and protect them from the evils of this world. I love my husband dearlt and still can't believe it's been 9 YEARS. I love our country and the MANY freedoms that we enjoy. We had a wonderful thanksgiving this year. It was the first one in seven years that was celebrated with family. Mackenzie was even more excited to ride the horse that is at her grnadpa Cox's right now. All she had to do was bat those pretty blue eyes and WALA there comes along a pretty white horse(thanks to Kent Hansen) WE hope you all had a delicious and Happy Thanksgiving and may these next few weeks cause us all tpo reflect uponour own lives andhow we servethose around us who are less fortunate than we. We love you all, Jess

2007-11-18T09:38:00.000-08:00

It is hard to believe that we have been married for 9 years as of Oct 17. WOW! Where has the time went to. We are all doing well. I know many were a little concerned after my last blog. Things are going great and I have even a greater understanding of Charity and Forgiveness. I knw that Heavenly Father is smiling down upon our family as we are strivingto put the pieced back togther again. Those who know...we have started counseling with LDS family services and Brendan is getting both individual counseling and goingto the church;s 12 step addictions program. We have just started so I am sure that it will be months before our choas slows down to a little unorderliness and finally back to sanity again. Thanks for all the prayers and thoughts. I do know that the Atonement works for both the sinner and those who hearts need healing. I have seen the healing power of the Atonement so many time over the course of the last few years and I am seeing it even more so now. Hope all are doing well.

2007-11-12T09:25:00.000-08:00

Well life is crazy at our house. I have learned some important things this past week iof HELL!. I learned that no family is beyond the influence of satan and his war on destroyinga family. No details will be given, but please pray for our little family. Never take your family for granted, especially your pouse. Take those tender moments and cherish each other. We will always have laundry to do and clothes to wash, but those sweet moments that canonly take 10 seconds for a kiss or a hug for your spouse will mean everything to your marriage. There are so many good things to do each day, but are we choosing the best of 2 good things. (melodie...you know what I am talking about, it's happening all over again...any advice). I love my husband and children more than anything in this life. I know that satan wants to destroy Heaven father's greatest creation...an Eternal family. Have a blessed day and give the one little extra hug to your loved ones today because we don't know if tomorrow will come, Jessica Cox

2007-11-12T09:20:00.000-08:00

I couldn't resist putting in these adorable pictures of my children. The first is of Kyle Wayne Cox, age 3. This picture fits his personality to the T. Always tryingto make people laugh and being the beau of the Ball.

This second one is Mackenzie on her Special Baptism day. November 3, 2007
Last but mot least, is our sweet little Angel Brevan Charles. He is always smiling and causing us to scramble because of his ability to get into danger anywhere. he is our little bundle of energy. Whenyoucombine him and Kyle....WHOA! hold onto your hats everyone because a tornado is coming through!

2007-11-12T09:07:00.001-08:00

In our church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, a special event happens when children turn the age of 8. They are Baptized. Mackenzie chose to be baptized by her father, Brendan, on November 3,2007 and also confirmed a member by daddy on the same day. Her cousin Brianna Chmabers was also baptized at the same time. So we had a double baptism. My dad came out from Indiana to be here for teh sacred event. What a special day it was for our little family. It seems as though it was just yesterday she was placed in my arms and now she is 8.

The event wouldn't be complete without the mass photo session that seems to always accompany these events in our lives. Jess and Mackenzie.

The Cox family- Brendan, Jess, Mackenzie, Kyle, and Brevan finally get a 2007 family picture that turned out half good.
this big day began with my Father being sealed to his parents who are deceased in the Idaho Falls temple. so it was a great day for the Chambers Family.

2007-11-12T08:54:00.000-08:00

The cox family on Halloween 2007. This is the first year that Jess has gotten into the Halloween festivities. We went to the stake center for games and LOTS of candy. The kids really enjoyed everything. Brevan wasn't even scared of the costumes. This was also the first year in few

that we were able to celebrate Halloween on the actual day. In Hanover Pa, Halloween was also celebrated the tuesday before and with a HUGE parade and carnivals.

Mackenzie and Brendan won the scariest family award. Brendan as the green Goblin and Mackenzie as the Princess Dracula.

our little Princess no longer enjoys being a sweet little princess for Halloween!

The boys go as Tigger and Pooh. they grow up so very fast and before you know it the toddler years are behind you. I really enjoy the boys and the friendship they have built with each other.

Last but not least...Brendan. He still has a way of walking into a room and making every head turn. those of youwho know him, know exactly what I am talking about. He let me(Jess) actually do the makeup this year. we all had a Great time being together as a family and celebrating all the festivities in Idaho with loved ones. One last thing...Kyle had his first taste of homemade rootbeer. He drank WAY too much and ended up puking all over the church and himself. Of course with my children if someone doesn't puke at least once a week it's not a normal week in the Cox home.

2007-11-02T08:24:00.000-07:00

Well it's another day in the Cox house. We are preparing for Mackenzie's baptism tomorrow. I can hardky believe that she is 8 and getting baptized. It seemed just like yesterday she was born. She has grown up so quickly and into such a sweet and tender little gal. I will put up pictures of it all later. Wish me luck that I won't be to emotional.
Have a Blessed day.

2007-11-01T16:01:00.000-07:00

okay. I am just trying this out again. I have had this blog for 3 years and never done anything with it. We are now living back in Idaho. Blackfoot to be precise. Brendan is working as a correctional officer in a women's prison and will be going back to school in January to get his masters in Counseling(drug rehab). I(jess) am a stay at home mom again after 3 years and loving every minute of it. I learned to grow a garden this summer and can/freeze it all this fall. It was ALOT of HARD work, but we are enjoying the products. Mackenzie is in 3rd grade this year and is making A's in everything and doing well in her reading program(5-7th grade level). She is singing a solo in te primary program this month and is doing well with the song. Kyle is 3 and is becoming such a little man. He loves being a big brother to brevan. Brevan is 16 mos and I can hardly wait until Jan 1 when he can finally be in nursery!!! It is hard on Sundays with me being the primary chorister and brendan in YM. He is such a busy little boy. much more than kyle or mackenzie were at this age. Well I hope this works and will allow us to communicate.
The Cixes