When will it be over? The question for the year! So my lawyer got a counter complaint for custody from Brendan's lawyer....so how dare Brendan call me at work begging for mercy to revoke cs order 2 weeks ago and then have some spontaneous luck with money for a lawyer. He is suing for 50/50 custody and wants me to keep 100% of the costs stating I make more than him. Little does he know the State of Idaho ia already aware that I am only working 16 hrs a week so his idea of me paying him child supprt is so far fetched. All he wants to do is get out of financial responsibility. He's never paid a dime for healthcare, daycare, or any extracurricular activities in 3 years. He thinks that his fiance who has served time in jail, been on probabtion is going to be the one raising my children...he's out for the fight of my life! the kids don't ever ask to be with him....mackenzie wishes shoe could only see him once in a while. he's lived a life full of pronography, infidelity, lies. I would give anything to have him out of our lives forever....so here's my ranting! and who's here to help me with my fight...well he's got his family and his fiance and her family to support him in his life. How do you supoort someone in sin? I guess just as i am judging I will also be judged....since that seems to be the tale he keeps telling me they all feel about me anyways. why did I ever put him first and stay here in idaho so that he and his family can have a relationship with our children....what about their maternal family? oh well sometimes justice never comes til death!!!!!

it's been a while since i've posted. I have been sick for 3 weeks w strep and ear infections plus dental work on top of it all. I am just worn out! I have made some major decisions that will be best for my little family. I am short selling my house, going back to school to get my RN and then on for my Nurse Practioner's. I will only be working fri/sat nights and for the first time in 3 years I will be at home mostly w my children. The lord may close doors but He will open many windows of opportunity. I thought that when the door closed with Corey my heart was literally going to break. At times I even felt like I just couldn't catch my breath when I thought about him and especially seeing him at church. I was angry with him and brendan for not fulfilling their promises and felt like theywere the cause of my being stuck in a mortgage. What I din't realize was the Lord was humbling me. I finally don't blame either one I have negative emotional issues fwith living in my home that can only be resolved by moving and separating myself from the past dreams. My anger for the hurt Corey cause has resolved and I have almost forgiven him 100%. There ae still those random moments like when I see him w his girlfriend at church and wonder why i wasn't good enough for him...after all she has been excommunicated and has word of wisdom issues! well once again Heavenly Father thumped me on the head and said...the atonement is for everyone and Corey just wasn't right for you and you KNOW that after all the hurt and mistreatment of you and your kids. It still hurts at times regardless. Then with the issues with brendan finally a lawyer who is helping me win the fight of my life for my kids. It's amazing to finally be able to say to brendan when he complains..."it's not my problem!" I know I am doingwhat the Lord wants me to be doing and tyeaching my children some very tender truths about life in the process. I know that families are eternal even with my broken family I still have my kids sealed to me! So even though the nights are lonely and life just down right sucks at times...I know I am loved by my Savior and that the decisions I have made are right. I may never find another eternal companion in this life and that's ok...not my ideal situation, but I am ok with who I am. So here;s to the uncertain future with faith. To corey Christensen if you ever read my blog...I forgive you but I don't know how to forget you! The song austin keeps playing and hits to close to my feelings. I do know you were no good for me emotionally especially after my surgery. I know that I am a faithful member of the church who is temple worthy and will be blessed because I have truly repented and put my trust in God. To brendan, you have hurt me for so many years and for that I take responsibility. After taking a hard look at myself I realized I allowed you to be emotionally abusive for 10 years because of my type of personality. I own that, but no more. Your problems are not mine to own! it's liberating to say It's not my problem and I WILL NOT own yours any more. You have it in you to ba an amzing father and I pray you will rediscover your priorities and even more important realize your children want to be loved by you. You cannot forsake your obligations to them. To my family and dear friends near and far...THANK YOU THANK YOU for not leaving alone in my own quiet gethsemane. you may not ever know what the simple smile meant to one who felt alone in a world of turmoil/ or that phone call saying I was just thinking of you today. I have been greatly blessed by you all. now to my family flesh and blood...I love you all very much and know that God sent me to a family as diverse as we are for a reason...to truly know I am LOVED! so this is me and who I am becoming...A mom who will fight for her children and will come out of any trial as a better person for having went through teh struggle with Christ by my side. I no longer need to feel worthless or inadequate and not worth loving...I will prevail in righteousness.
i am somebody I am loved I am jess

Mother's day: Today this elderly man gave a talk on well of course mothers. He sang a song he made up when he was 16.
M- mom is what we call her
o- ordinary oh no anything but ordinary extraordinary
t- truth she always teaches me the truth
h- hero that's who she is my hero
e- eternal i love my eternal mom
r- righteous she stands among some of the most righteous women in the world.
this is what a mother is to me.
now what do I think a mom is: a mom sacrifices her body in the name of children. To bare a child takes it's toll but oh how we moms wish we had more time to take care of ourselves. mother's are the last to eat at a meal the first to clean up and the last to go to bed at night. making sure all is right in the home. a mom dries the tears of a hungry baby, then a hurt knee, later a broken heart, and in the end the sobs of the dear child by her dying bedside. A mom will love unconditionally and never ask for anything in return. a mom never gets holidays off, sick leave, or stock pile on vacation time. Even with all the sacrifices a mom makes I would NEVER trade this word in for anything else. I love my mom with all my heart but even more I love being called mommy!

Friday.....This day has become one of dread. It's a day of the week set aside in the mormon culture as date night. For me it is a reminder of how lonely my nights have once again become. I did enjoy the date night for almost a year in a half with Corey. Sometimes I wonder if I ever knew what Love really felt like. Was it love with Corey or just a person to feel a void in my life? Were we really ever friends or just a couple afarid of dying alone? What does real love feel like? I thought at one time I knew with both Brendan and Corey now I wonder if ever it was real? will I ever experience that feeling of feeling safe and protected both physically and emotionally? Will there ever be someone who could love my children and not think of them as a nuisance? Someone who wants to grow old with me and build dreams that can last forever....not just promise me one day a week and a few minutes a day! How can people profess to love someone and so easily walk away and never look back not even a glance and say God told me to leave! I often think who would notice if I weren't here? does my life mean something more than just to my children? is there someone out there who cares when I have had a horrible week emotionally or will it always just be the quiet tears shed alone in the dark with no one there to care why??? If I died tonight will I have left this world a better place because I lived in it? I am so blessed to have my children with me and the gospel in my life. I feel comfort at times when I just feel like giving up the most. Will I be refined enough after the trials to be welcomed home with open arms or will I turn away because I feel unworthy? Peace will come bit by bit line upon line and precept upon precept. So tonight my prayer is for peace and endurance to just put one step in front of the other and carry on to the next day.......These are the thoughts I have when Friday comes!

so this week has been good so far. I should know hopefully tomorrow about the hospice job. Found out today that Chris is going to be the new medical director...said he told them he wants me as his nurse. So knowing doctors do have some advantages other than waiving fees! trinity has been so different for a while and it looks like our building is about to hot rock bottom soon. Wanna get out while the gettin is good. the hospice job would be m-f 8-5 with salary. 40-50% of the work is done at home on your company laptop and blackberry. so wish me luck. it will be better for my kids too. I have faith that God will work things out according to my obedience....

rain or snow waht happened to the sun? that's what you get in Idaho i've decided. If you don't like the weather wait a few hours and it will change!!! so we planned to plant flowers for FHE tonight....well we still did just in our coats and gloves because it went from 71 degrees to 50 with rain and wind in about 30 minutes! I guess the Idaho weather is a little about my emotions lately. I can feel total peace and calmness one minute then I will think about Corey and then there comes a feeling almost anxious it;s actually physical....my heart just feels like it's dropping. Then I'm angry and sad, but always always before I go to bed I read and pray and peace envelops me and I drift calmly to sleep. I still have unanswered questions and thoughts about myself. But keeping positive and praying VERY hard when the negative emotions come help!!! today I watched a dear patient of mine and his wife. He is actively dying and seeing her love for him made my heart leap with joy at the same time weap for mine. Love endures all. What matters most in this life is how one is brought into this life and how one leaves this life. Peace will come to my dear thorn in the butt resident who was SOOO afraid of dying but last week he and I talked about how I KNOW life doesn't end at death. What an experience I had that strengthened my resolve to be a better person. Thx DON!!!!

So I decided the write about closure and ending a chapter in your life and beginning a new one. Friday Night Brendan and I decided we REALLY needed to just sit down and talk about the direction we are heading. It started out with him refusing to let me take kids to indiana and then of course I said he couldn't take kids to Utah. When did we both become so selfish and make it about us adults instead of what's best for the kids. So this is what I learned during our 4 hr long talk at McDonald's(i know of all places). I never considered looking at myself through his eye. In his mind I allowed the Mormon culture to ruin our marriage. I saw his point to a degree. I should have went to work 4 years ago when I was more marketable than he was. I began with no communication and ended in some realizations on my part. His view of me now is I have the brand new house and brand new van while he's living in a trashy trailer and driving a POS truck. My view of his situation is I got a new van to lower my monthly car payment by $120.00 a month. I got a brand new house that I am buying for teh same price I was renting. I am the one who works 50 hours a week, pay medical bill and insurance, daycare expenses, school clothes, lunches, field trips, extracurricular activities, I am the one who gets to kiss the dissappointment away when daddy doesn't come to the first christmas program or misses and orchestra concert. I am the one who stays up all night with the sick kid. he got to sit on his butt for 2 years living of a college fund taht was similay to my wages and then still didn't pay child support. So our perception of the other's life had formed our realities. Now I understand a little bit more about him. we have both changed the last 3 years greatly. What I reaLIZED Is I don't know him anymore. And he doesn't know me. I also learned a hard truth about myself....I haven't let go of the past and the hurt he caused me. I needed him to FINALLY acknowledge the pain and hurt. When he realized he had never asked for my forgiveness he knew why I hadn't let go of the past. I accepted his genuine apology and a burden was lifted. I also found out how prideful I had been all these years. I thought I was the better parent because I hadn't done the same sins as him.....what I rediscovered is taht I am NO better than him. Just as Brendan can't fully repent and return home with the atonement neither can I. we both rely upon the Lord's mercy to save us. SO i am owning up my faults and imperfections. I just want to work best for the kids. So despite all the advice I have been given...I am redoing the parenting plan that wroks for us BOTH. I am not forgiving any child support and he understands that, but I couldn't keep going on theway it has been for months with hostile exchanges and hurtful words. I just pray I can learn to forgive and truly do what is best for my children.

something I learned this week. Faith is knowing that God is happy with the direction your life is heading!!!! I will write more tomorrow about my journey in self-discovery....

anger...how do you get over hurt and anger when you are faced with the person on a regular basis. I met with the bishop again tonight. I asked him "how do I look at Corey every sunday and not scream inside and want to yeel out loud so that anyone or just someone could see and feel my pain caused by him?" someone tell me how do you get over the feelings of rejection and the thoughts that you are no good for anyone? because sometimes I feel like that if I was better looking or wouldn't have gained weight after my surgery then just maybe I might have been worth keeping. If maybe I turned the cheek a little more then maybe my marriage wouldn't have fallen apart....if only's and what might have been's sometimes overcome my thoughts during the day. why did both corey and brendan profess their love when they really didn't have any true feelings for me. My bishop is an amazing man. After mtg with him twice this week he was blunt tonight.....said he had some righteous anger and almost hostility towards the men who have hurt me deeply. He was glad that i came in not scared to share or confess ALL my weaknesses and faults. I am thankful for the Atonement even more at this difficult time in my life emotionally.....

So I decided to write some of my divine signatures that I've realized in the past few weeks. 1. I am blessed with 3 beautiful children wh try so hard to do what is right. they love each other, have their moments, but theyare truly friends. I am blessed with a job thta i mostly love with great co workers. I have a home that I love(depsite the reason why I bought it. There are memories of Corey taht can be erased with time but more can be made with my little family). I have an awesome ward family with a bishop who truly loves the members. I have even more amazing blood family who are tghere through the thick and thin no matter what kind of boneheaded mistakes I make. I have wonderful friends who are there to offer a smile or words of encouragement. I have the scriptures where I can find peace and comfort. I can pray and what an amazing things happen when I turn life over to God. so these are a few of my divine signatures that are written by Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ. The last 6 mos have been very difficult emotionally. Never one to be depressed I found myself in a well looking up for recue. I am on medication low dose but I never realized how much my thyroid controlled several parts of who I am . Thanks for believing in me. It's nice to truly feel peace.

So after talking to a dear friend of mine, I realized that the emotions I am feeling are normal part of the grieving process. I never had a complete break of my formal family until recently. It's like the loss and pain are new in a different way. Until a few weeks ago I still had the support of an amazing family and ow well I realize I am not the flesh and blood and I had a fantasy vision of always being loved and accepted by them. After all it was their son who had offended not me! well as I have been going to the temple and continuing in prayer and so forth I realized that He woukld never feel loved and accepted by his family with me around. The hurt is overwhelming at times. I stayed in Idaho so that my kids could see their father and under the impression I would have outside support. I know the Lord is aware of me. I am receiving support as much as they can from my dear family 2k miles away and my brother and sister in law here. But I have even got the support of someone who truly undertsands from experience, Jen my dear friend. I also have met a few people in my ward who have similar expereince that have been brought into my life. I love all my friends and family far and near who are praying for me aND offering words of compfort. I also came to understand even more there are severeal steps of grief. I am not crazy or unstable because I get angry at people who hurt me or my children. It's ok and normal for me to get angry when I see my ex or think about the circumstances i am in. It's ok to have negative feelings about Corey and how he too hurt me in ways that ran deep to the core. I can have these feeling and it's normal as long as I don't get stuck. I am ok and no I don't need professional help, I believe with all my heart taht I would have expereinced these feelings 3 yrs ago if things went as they should have instead of still being connected to the cox family. I love my children and am grateful for my family both blood and ward, and I know that it's ok to experience feelings. the Lord gave us feelings so we could expereince life both the good and bad.

today is a new day. a new beginning of sorts. I hurt so badly when my children are hurting. last night mackenzie cried with me over some choices her father has made. She said daddy buys things for tracey so he won't lose her, but he still hasn't bought me my bike for my birthday. He promised me mommy. Then to find out that he flew his girlfriend down to vegas in october for a vacation with him, but couldn't afford child support for months or buy his daughter a birthday present!he is so focused on his fiance that he is hurting his children terribly. I pray for my kids everyday. I have even been asked to step away as a cox to allow her to be loved by them! I am only in Idaho so my kids can see their dad...oh how i wish I would've moved away 3 years ago for a fresh start anywhere. Now I feel so alone....I know this statement might hurt, but things would have been better if my husband died over a divorce! His parents said to me once how they are so happy that Min can stay home with her kids. It would've been hard for her children if she would have had to go to work, Well There are 3 other grandchildren that have suffered greatly that they don't seem to recognize. They cry at times because they miss their mommy. I have to work over time most weeks just because their dad doesn't pay his child support. A friend of mine in my ward has been through both a death of her husband and a divorce.....she stated that divorce is much harder! when her husband passed away she knew she and her children were loved. The divorce was bitter to be openly rejected and unloved is a harder pill to swallow, I will continue to have Hope which will lead to greater Faith and eventuallu I will know I am truly loved by someone out there!!

Wow whatever happened to my updating my blog? oops:) so I am going to just leave a short message about HOPE.(i'll try to get a general update the next few weeks). So why do I celebrate Easter? Is it about plastic eggs, Easter baskets, and the Easter bunny? As I have pondered the last few years throughout the many trials and challenges that have come my way, I have come to have a few new insights. Yes it is about our Savior Jesus Christ and His resurrection. Because He arose from the tomb I will see my loved ones again and be with my family forever. THis year I have come to believe it's also about HOPE. Hope leads to faith which leads to knowledge of thruths. I need Hope that today has more to offer and the future holds great blessings. I cannot change the past, I can learn from the expereinces. I have faith that my Heavenly Father and Savior are aware of me and the struggles I face. Because the Savior set the perfect example I can one day forgive others completely. Until that day I will keep praying for the strength to forgive piece by piece.

So where oh where do I begin? I decided to start from the present and go back from here. Oct. 22-24 I had the experience to run the ragnar relay in Las Vegas. A year ago my dear brother-in-law Jeremy Kunz was hit by a drunk driver and killed while running this relay. Many family members have joined the running and especially the ragnar family. As we ran for 32 hrs with little sleep and lots of emotional and physical exertion we finished 41st out of 359 teams. I was runner 2 with 3 legs to run measuring 19 miles I was dedfinitely challenged. Bloody toes, blisters, and complete exhaustion was felt. Our van 1 took a moment to stop near the scene of the accident to pay tribute to a lost brother. The friendships and relationships were strengthened during the close proximities and stinch in a vehicle for just over 32 hrs. The 1st run for me was 9 miles. I thought hey I just ran a PR in my pocatello half-marathon this should be a piece of cake. Well the run that was suppose to have little elevation climb turned out to be 9 miles UP HILL! By the end of our 3rd legs we decided that the course map was drawn upside down and if we turned the map over that would represent the true course uphill! It was so much fun and I am excited to do 3 ragnar relays next year instead of only 2 we did this year. I will post pictures soon:)
Then on Oct 26th I had a major surgery. I had a total thyroidectomy and partial parathyroedectomy. I was blessed with some great in-laws(ok former but I still love them) to leave their home in se idaho and spend almost 2 weeks here watching my children so I could play in vegas and recooperate from surgery. Poor Brendan slept sitting up in a chair all night long just so I wasn't alone in the hospital. Kim(g-pa) stayed at my house keeping the troops in-line and doing a daddy-do list for me:)! I came home on the 27th and ended back in the hospital 2 days later(the day kim and brenda went home) with some post-op complications. After 2 more days in St. Al's I was released home on the 31st....Halloween. I missed seeing the kids an enjoying the festivities . I am grateful for dear family and a kind neighbor and the one in a million boyfriend! Steph my sister in-law was responsible for a lot of my home care and stayed at the hospital for 10 hrs the day I was readmitted. Corey, well was a great trooper. Took me in at 0600 for my surgery stayed all day to make sure I came out alive:). I don't remember a lot of things that happened that day due to the meds I was on. All I know Is I felt like I was wrapped in the arms a loved ones. I am soo blessed to have the cox family in my life and treating me still like their own daughter. My children have been blessed with great grandparents and aunts and unlces who love them dearly. So here is to life and the struggles that come our way. I know my Heavenly Father is aware of me and my struggles. I feel His Love in my life everyday.
I will post pictures of race and surgery this week:)

So it has been more than a year since I have blogged anything about my little family of 4! Today I want to restart the story of my reason for living. I love my 3 children and am missing them tonight as they are with their dad. A lot of things have transpired this past year. A full update to come this weekend. For tonight you all get my recommittment to tell a famoly story for others to read. A story about love, sorrows, happiness, losses, and blessings.

so I am recommitting to running again...about a month of solid running again. Training for a relay the Wasatch back in Utah and the full marathon in pocatello next September. Kind of slacked off after my half in September was burnt out so i only ran 3 days a week just to do some. I am finally getting over the love/hate relationship with running where most days I enjoy it. Life continues to be busy working full-time and kids, but love being home every night with them. I do not however enjoy waking up at the butt-crack of dawn oh wait a minute its 0 dark 30 when I wake up! kids are doing great especially since daddy has been watching them the last month. been good for the boys.

today after all the thanksgiving activities of the weekend I started thinking about life the ups and downs that comes. Being a single mom is very difficult on those rough days when exhaustion is at its peak and I want to cry from complete and utter fatigue, the Lord seems to give me that little extra help to get through the homework, dishes, baths and scriptures/prayers in time for bed for us all without an emotional breakdown. Sometimes we wonder why the challenges are not going away....my last few days I have learned that the miracle of it all is that the Lord is helping us make it alone with him! I did not request this challenge nor did I ever think it would last this long, but I do know that with the help of my Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ I am OK being a single mom. As long as my kids know that I know the gospel is true and can teach them to have righteous desires than the rest will be worked out if not in this life than in the eternities. What I do know is that the Lord is aware of each of us and our struggles and he will come maybe not until the 11Th hour of our trial but He will come when we can no longer do it alone.

i am so thankful for my blessings some of which are difficult trials. I love my children and my family. for those who keep wondering about Corey and I still dating no wedding plans in the near future. I want to be treated like gold and until I feel like I am loved and cherished I need to wait for time to tell. I am thankful for my family and all of their love and support. in case I don't get a chance to blog soon....Happy holidays and remember the blessings in our life

here's a link if you want to read jer's story!
http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=148&sid=8283956

For those who don't know my brother-in-law Jeremy Kunz was killed on Saturday while participating in the ragnar las Vegas relay. he was hit by a drunk driver. He is survived by his beautiful wife Min and three children Brinci, toby and Gage. The funeral was beautiful and I am inspired by Jer and min as always. The family is doing a run at Wasatch back in June as a tribute to Jer. We will be team 2 the "really don't wannabes". You can search Ragnar relays to hear the story of Jer and make donations for min and the Kids. Thank you for all the love and support.

Update on me and the kids. Just bought a house and closed on September 15. It's a brand new home just built with 4 bedrooms, 2 1/2 baths 2431 sq feet. Love it. Still dating Corey Christensen and loving every minute of it. My computer crashed about 2 months ago so I am way behind on my blog. I got a promotion at work and am now working day shift and it came with a good raise. Mackenzie now 10 is in the 5th grade and is in 6th grade reading and math. she is adjusting to yet another new school quite well. Kyle is now 5 and is a kind hearted little guy. he loves playing with Brevan and is a great helper to his mommy. Brevan now 3 is a busy little guy as always. loves to torment his brother and sister relentlessly! He has a sweet and strong willed spirit...just got to get it channeled. for those who didn't know Brendan moved to Boise area this summer. it's been nice for the kids the last 2 months to have more regular visits with him. Hopefully it will pay off with a good relationship for them. we will see. I will try to post some pictures soon:)

okay so I have fallen way behind on my blog. Mostly due to many of you having face book, but I am recommitted to catching you all up and staying on top of things. But now I will just do a generalized update and restart my seven on Sunday next week:)

So the past month in a half has been busy in so many ways. I met Corey the beginning of June and seems to be taking all my free time spending with each other. A little bit about him. Corey is a wonderful man who happens to be a sport fanatic in a good way! He has 4 children and 2 grandchildren...oh and he is 45. We have so much fun together and my kids adore him and he treats them like he would his own. He is active in church and temple worthy. We love going to the temple together and trash talking each other. Now his son is joining in the fun. We went to hit the ball this past week and I guess his son didn't get the memo that I played softball for 13 years! long story short i got blisters on my hands but now he knows i can hit the ball! so spending time with each other and our children have brought a new sense of joy and happiness into my life that I never thought would happen again.

We just returned from our trip to Indiana about a week ago. My mom flew out the middle of June to help with childcare and then road back the 30 hours in the van with me. The kids traveled better than I thought they would. It was lots of fun to see my family who I haven't seen in almost 3 years. My brother-in-law and nephews took the kids fishing for their first time. they all caught cat fish and bass. We went swimming while in Indiana with a big slide. We all enjoyed the fun of the pool. Besides being crowded and very loud and messy at my parents it was overall OK. I forget some things then I return and am reminded why i left. It was awesome seeing one of my best friends Kelly while i was there too and her 2 kids. I had some tire issues that added some extra expenses but we returned OK. I didn't get to see a good friend while I was there(sorry Angie) due to family expecting ALL my time and then i had some house issues that i needed to return home early to try to get done before I was suppose to close(what good that did!!!).

I have been working about 100 hours every 2 weeks to help make up some missed child support payments and save a bit. but I love my job, the residents, and my co workers. My job has brought me a best friend(Jen) who has helped me the past 8 months more than my family could because she has experienced being divorced in the LDS culture.

I am so blessed in my life beyond comprehension. Even though I was frustrated with not getting the house because of someone Else's choice, I know the Lord has something in store for me. I have been blessed with a best friend in Corey who treats me like a queen. This week has been a very emotional and stressful week and he cheered me up by sending the most beautiful dozen of roses to work that anyone has ever seen. Needless to say they were all jealous and I felt loved. He cherishes me and protects me in ways I have never experienced and this in itself is a miracle. I have a good job, a place to live, and 3 healthy and beautiful children. I have the gospel that brings me peace in times of trials. Even more important I have a testimony of Jesus Christ and the healing power of the atonement as well as the miracle of repentance. I am thankful to my parents for sacrificing time and money to come out and help much this summer. I am also in debt to my ward for showing me over and over again the love and service a ward family can give. I know the Lord prepares us for blessings he has in store, and when the time is "RIGHT" we can receive those blessings. I love Corey and often realize that we met when we were both prepared to meet. Thanks for all you love and support of so many friends and family. I will keep you updated in case a wedding date comes up! I'll publish photos next week!!!!!

okay so how do you find out about people who are following your blog and you have no idea who they are? kind of weird but i would love to share ideas if that's why they are following my blog. I just get bothered not knowing if someone from my exes past will find me and be following what is going on with me and my kids. it happened on Myspace so it scares me a little. advice please!